#excel basis training

[bluebellles]

"i'll take a quiet life"

gentle moments of reciprocating their affection

genre: fluff, hurt/comfort, sfw

cw: varying relationship stages, brief callbacks to child experimentation (canon compliant), zayne’s describes a poor relationship with food, heavy on dragon sylus sorry i wish i could be different, ur down bad and a little embarrassing in Xavier’s but he’s worse, author is still settling into character analysis for these guys so pls forgive any ooc

Your hunting partner excelled in many ways. His skill in the field was both undeniable and terrifying, his ability to fall asleep anywhere concerned you as much as it impressed you, and his calm demeanor even in the face of the most stressful situations set your mind at ease whenever you fought alongside him.

The only area he truly lacked in, in your humble opinion, was in his ability to give a straight answer about anything to do with himself or his personal life.

He was, in many ways, a vault of information for everything from the history of wanderers to arbitrary and niche subjects that a normal person would have had to spend a lifetime studying to be able to reference as easily as him. If you had a question about nearly any subject, your walking encyclopedia of a partner likely had the answer ready to deliver to you accompanied by a yawn and that sleepy blink of his eyes. 

Answers about himself, however, were much harder to come by. He never declined your inquiries outright, but he had a litany of creative and mildly infuriating ways to dodge the question. He was very adept at distracting you, often with food or confusing questions of his own. You once asked him what he did over the weekend and he pulled a bag of your favorite candy out of his pocket to offer to you, waited until you started munching on it happily, and then just said “and what about you?” as if he had already answered your question. You were also highly suspicious about the timing of his naps on the train to get to missions – always falling asleep right after you try making small talk about where he grew up or his family. 

It's not like you didn’t want to respect his boundaries. He was probably just a very private person or a secret criminal and either way it was ultimately none of your business. It’s just that it was a little difficult to jump into battle alongside another person on a daily basis and trust them to have your back when you couldn’t even get him to tell you about his hobbies. Nothing to do with the way your heart sped up a little seeing him at his desk in the mornings at all. Completely sensible and utilitarian curiosity.

So, rather than continuing to pester him for answers you decided you would simply observe him to get to know him better. Admittedly, as far as subjects for study he was an interesting one. And very nice to look at.

You learned quite a bit about the sleepy man through your observations, jotting down everything you learned in a small, unassuming notebook you kept on hand during work hours. 

For example, he spends an hour in the break room every day eating concerning amounts of convenience store ramen and reading random books about obscure subjects like 101 Facts About Wooly Mammoths and Dating Advice for Older Men. Always a different book, and he always manages to finish it by the time his self-imposed break is over. If anyone tries to make conversation with him during that time period, he will pretend to fall asleep. You’re honestly starting to believe he has narcolepsy or something. Or just very selective hearing.

Contrary to your initial assumptions, he also does have a sense of humor. All of his jokes are told with his usual flat affectation and could easily be mistaken for serious comments, but once you start to look so closely at him it’s easier to pick up on the subtle, teasing drawl at the end of his quips or the way his nose twitches a little with the effort not to smile when he’s messing with you. 

You were in the middle of conducting a very serious investigation about his various micro expressions one night when the two of you stopped by a crepe stand on your way home from work. 

You had already been to the crepe stand a few times a few times with Tara. It was a cute little business run by an older man and his son who had recently graduated from university. You had rambled to Xavier enthusiastically about how they were the only place that had your favorite combination of fillings and how you were craving something sweet, and he had only nodded and said “mh”, which you had learned to translate as enthusiastic agreement.

The owner’s son happened to be running the stand that day and was just as friendly and outgoing with you as always, winking at you when he asked if you wanted your usual. His easygoing smile had faded, however, with a quick glance behind you before he busied himself with making your crepe.

You turned around in confusion, only finding Xavier with the same mild, spaced out expression as always looking innocently off to the side. 

A few minutes later, you dutifully hand over a delicious looking savory crepe filled with meat to the silver-haired man before looking over your own, practically salivating over the combination of fruits and cream. He stared it with what you had recently identified as confusion before looking to you imploringly.

“Not sweet?”

“Oh!” you flustered a little, realizing how presumptuous you had been in ordering for him, “Sorry, I just thought- you prefer savory to sweet right? I mean, when Jenna brings pastries in you always take a croissant instead of a donut-,”

You cut yourself off before you could start listing all the different ways you had been a total creep recently.

“I can get you a sweet one if you prefer,” you whispered out, trying your best to look completely unaffected.

A soft huff left Xavier’s lips, and you looked up to see that gentle half-smile he sometimes gave you and a very soft look in his eyes.

“It’s fine,” he assured you, “I do prefer savory things.”

The second half of his sentence, oddly enough, was accompanied by a very smug glance at the owner’s son who looked rightfully confused and possibly a little nervous.

Armed with your contrasting crepes, the two of you chose to stroll and eat, enjoying the gentle spring breeze that blanketed the evening as you walked. Absentmindedly, you mentioned the owner’s son again in passing, praising him for his skill in creating the perfect ratio of fillings. Xavier suddenly made a face you hadn’t seen on him before.

A tiny twitch of his nose, similar to when he was trying not to laugh, but followed by a miniscule pout before he took a rather aggressive bite of his crepe as if it had done something to offend him personally.

Your fingers twitched with the urge to whip out your little notebook to record this breaking update in your investigation but refrained for the meantime, tilting your head to the side and studying him closely.

“Is something wrong with your crepe…?” 

He froze, glancing down at his food contemplatively.

“…Yes.”

“Yes?”

“I’m done,” he declared bluntly, turning to glare at your almost finished crepe with equal hostility, “Are you done?”

“I mean- I guess?” You blinked at him.

“Mh.”

Wordlessly, he took your crepe from you and ambled off to find a nearby trashcan. You took the opportunity to whip out your notebook to catalogue all the new data you had collected. 

The nose twitch was multipurpose – sometimes indicating amusement and sometimes indicating… irritation? And the tiny pout. Did he have a stomachache? More information was needed.

You were so wrapped up your excited theorizing that you failed to notice the presence of someone coming up right behind you, peering over your shoulder to read the words you were jotting down.

“I don’t have a stomachache,” a deep voice rumbled directly in your ear, causing you to shriek and fling the notebook further down the sidewalk. It scraped against the concrete before flopping pathetically next to a storm drain. 

You whipped around in abject horror only to find Xavier’s face two inches from yours, looking at you with an unreadable expression. 

“That was not at all what it looked like,” you lied blatantly, eyes darting between him and the notebook.

“What did it look like?” he asked mildly, his face betraying nothing of his current mood. He was still close enough to you that you could count all of his individual lashes and make out a few tiny scars along his jaw.  

“I’m not stalking you.”

“Okay.”

“I’m not.”

“Mh.”

Xavier didn’t press the subject, instead going over to retrieve the notebook. Mortification rolled over your entire being as he began rifling through the pages. You wished a car was driving by so you could throw yourself in front of it.

“It’s seriously not as creepy as it seems,” you sound delusional even to yourself, “I just wanted to get to know you better.”

While you were panicking and wondering how soon you could transfer departments, Xavier was staring down at the pages filled with your cute handwriting in contemplation.

It would seem that he had underestimated you once again. 

Finding you in this lifetime, as a dying star well past its expiration date, he hadn’t been expecting much in the way of your relationship with him. It was simply an impulse he could not ignore – the honor of being close to you. He sought out your brilliance and would always endeavor to orbit around you but it was hardly even a thought in his brain that you would be drawn to him in the same way. Not when he was so tired. Not when he could only offer you a beautiful afterimage of what he had once been.

He should not have doubted you. In every life, you were always the only one to really see him. The only one to even bother looking beyond his blinding light. After so many years of existence and so many different identities, he only ever really saw himself through the reflection of your gaze. He was a fool to have assumed your soul would falter even if he was scattered across the galaxy instead of whole as he once was. 

“Forgive me,” his voice was hoarser than his usually airy cadence, his gaze more focused than you were used to when he looked over at you.

Confusing as it may have been, you didn’t need your notebook to identify his current expression. When Xavier finally looked back at you, the way you had been looking at him all these weeks, it was impossible to mistake the devotion in his eyes.

Rafayel turned the conch shell over in his hands, letting out a thoughtful hum as he let his fingers dance across the spikes. The outside was a gradient of pretty blues that melted into a soft pink closer to the center. A small sticker with a price that had been hastily covered up with marker stuck to the side. The artist’s eye twitched minutely at the sight of it clashing against the otherwise pleasant color palette, already using a sharp nail to carefully peel it off.

“Isn’t it pretty?” you gushed a little, a self-satisfied grin tugging at your lips as you pointed at the shell as though couldn’t see it, “If you put your ear against it, you can hear the ocean!”

He let out a petulant scoff at this, eyes narrowing at the conch shell like it was guilty of scamming you and he was about to put it on trial.

“It’s lying to you, cutie,” he scowled a bit, as though the conch had advertised this gimmick itself, before pointing dramatically at the waves crashing right outside the glass of his windows, “and did you lose your vision or something? The ocean’s right outside if you want to listen to it so bad. …Maybe if you visited me more often you’d-,”

“No, shut up, I know,” you rolled your eyes and nudged him a little before brightening again, “but still – it really sounds like waves! Besides, I thought you could take it with you when you go on your trip for that client meeting. I looked it up. There aren’t any beaches nearby, the whole city is landlocked. I figured you might get homesick or something. Now you don’t have to!”

Rafayel stared at you. Things had been strange the whole morning, starting from when you showed up at his doorstep lacking any of your usual complaints about his antics and without any coercing on his part. 

You had come to visit him of your own accord? You had looked up the geography of his business trip because you were worried about him getting homesick? He mentally scanned through all the elaborate schemes to get your attention he had acted out recently, wondering which one of them had prompted such a reaction from you. He had been so busy with a new series for a very annoying client the past few weeks and he couldn’t think of anything he had done recently that would have warranted this. So why?

“Besides, it kinda looks like your eyes, right?” You said off-handedly, only half paying attention as you adjusted a setting on your watch, casual as if you hadn’t just said something that made his already rapid heartrate speed into overdrive and the tips of his ears flush a pretty red.

Just when he thought he was starting to get a handle on this version of you, that he had figured out the proper tune to draw you closer, you decided to change the rules of the game again. He supposed he should have been used to it by now. Every version of you always managed to shatter his expectations as easily as you breathed. As unpredictable as the ocean, and just as beautiful to him. But honestly, what was a fish to do? How was he supposed to ever prepare for you?

“Are you trying to win employee of the month or something?” he scrambled a little, whipping his head to the side and trying to keep the squeakiness out of his voice, “I won’t be giving you a bonus for it. Just so you know.”

You scowled at this, glancing away from your watch and trying to swipe the conch shell out of his hands.

“Whatever. If you don’t want it just say that,” you huffed as he held it out of your reach, still without looking at you.

“Be quiet,” he sniffed haughtily, holding the shell up to his ear and pushing you away gently by your forehead with his other hand, “I’m listening to the ocean.”

“I thought you said-”

Insufferably, he hushed you and closed his eyes under the guise of concentrating so you wouldn’t see the softness of his expression. All he could hear was random ambient sound, not even close to the vibrant complexities of the sea that encompassed his birthplace. Even still, as he pictured you carefully rummaging through different shells at the pier market and comparing their hues to his eyes, he had never felt closer to home. 

As much as he'd like to pretend he was the siren ensnaring you into his trap, he was well aware that that honor belonged to you. Regardless of the time or the place or the bodies you both inhabited, your song was a tune that could never be erased from the core of his being and one he would always walk towards willingly. How annoying.

For a man who lived his life with complete precision, who planned out every day with strict control and little room for superfluities, it was nearly impossible not to notice even the slightest changes in routine.

As such, every tiny alteration you made to his otherwise balanced life was meticulously documented and filed away. Not with annoyance or disapproval, as some might expect, but instead with the intention to figure out how to best accommodate for your whims without disrupting his own routines or, infinitely more abhorrent to consider, burdening your own carefree sensibility with his neuroses.

Pausing in the doorway to straighten out the shoes you had haphazardly kicked off on your way in. Making sure you had a glass of water next to your daily iced coffee so that you wouldn’t get dehydrated. Carefully holding onto your hand and keeping you steady as you insisted on walking across the side of a bridge rather than the sidewalk next to him. Despite the stoic expression and steadfast seriousness he exhibited while preforming these simple tasks for you, he did not consider them to be a burden. It was a privilege to bear witness the vivacity you brought into his world.

He was content, in this way, to watch you bulldoze through life with reckless abandon and dutifully reorganize the chaos you left in your wake. It was enough to feel the brilliance of your warm light soak into his cold skin. He would remain steady and controlled for the both of you.

You were, however, a little less content with this arrangement. Zayne was steady. Constant. A stone pillar for you to rest against when you couldn’t handle standing up on your own. You loved this about him, but he wasn’t infallible. Wasn’t impervious to desire and indulgence. You loved this about him too. You just wished he could learn to love it about himself.

You knew your boyfriend loved sweet things. It was something you often teased him about, mostly joking in every respect besides the potential cavities. To be honest, you found it endearing and loved to see evidence of the gentle, sweet man hidden beneath his frosty exterior. 

The only thing that really concerned you about the doctor’s habit was that despite his propensity for baked goods and sugary candy, he didn’t actually seem to enjoy the process of eating them very much at all.

It was often during times of stress that he’d make a detour by the local bakery after a long shift. He would eat pastries as quickly as possible, a stark contrast from his usual habits that left little time for savoring the flavor. It almost seemed like an uncontrollable urge, a shameful impulse that he wanted to push through as quickly as possible. As utilitarian as one could be while digging into a strawberry shortcake. 

Zayne was a tempered man, driven by the ideology that if he lost even an ounce of control, he wouldn’t be able to stop the spiral. He wasn’t someone who could integrate indulgence into his routine halfheartedly. There was no true enjoyment to be found from acquiescing to his desire, only a temporary slip that would be accompanied by unfulfilled resolutions to abstain in the future.

You disagreed.

The two of you had a nice, cozy dinner together every Friday after work. Usually consisting of takeout, often delayed due to both of your hectic schedules, and sometimes taking place on the uncomfortable wooden benches outside the hospital but you always made it happen without fail. 

One night after a good meal with lighthearted conversation about your respective days, you retreated to Zayne’s fridge and returned with a miniature cake and an excited smile.

Zayne stared. It was a pretty cake, artfully piped cream and strawberries between layers of sponge cake with a delicate dusting of powdered sugar on top. His brow twitched minutely, mentally scanning through significant dates or anomalous recent events that could have prompted such an extravagance as you carefully removed it from the plastic bakery box. 

“…What’s the occasion?” he finally asked with great reluctance, disappointed by his own inability to decipher what he was missing.

“Hm?” you blinked, setting out two dessert forks and keeping your countenance deliberately casual, “No occasion, it just looked good.”

He stared at the cake as if it held all the world’s secrets.

“Did something happen today?” he pressed on, carefully assessing your mental state as if expecting you to suddenly have a mental breakdown.

“I had a craving for cake, that’s what happened,” you shrugged, not waiting for him before digging your fork into the side of dessert.

He watched as you savored your bite of cake with simple contentedness, no hint of stress or shame about the enjoyment you took from a useless indulgence. Not giving in to any kind of uncontrollable urge or distracting from any kind of emotional need. Pleasure for pleasure’s sake.

“You aren’t going to make me eat this whole thing by myself, are you?” you pouted playfully at him, making the puppy dog expression that always got you an exasperated huff followed by the immediate entertainment of whatever you asked for, “It doesn’t taste as good if we aren’t both enjoying it.”

Zayne, as always, weighed out his options out. If it was for you, maybe it was okay. As always.

He picked up the fork and took a slow bite.

After that night you had decided this was now an inherent part of your weekly routine, showing up with brightly colored macarons, beautifully decorated tarts, and decadent chocolate creations depending on what caught your eye at the bakery. You started calling it your ‘mandatory sweet treat’ and continued the tradition without fail. Always eaten in tandem with a balanced meal and shared slowly over happy conversation. A celebration of your bond rather than a shameful impulse. 

Zayne continued to tell himself that he was just playing along with your whims as usual. After all, how could it be wrong when you smiled so sweetly at him as you handed him his fork? 

It wasn’t until one week, when you stumbled into his house flustered after an unusually difficult mission and no time to stop by the bakery before closing that he finally had to admit his own enjoyment for the activity.

There was a brief silence after dinner was finished that week. He stared at the cleared table as if expecting something delicious to appear out of thin air. When it didn’t, he cleared his throat and clasped his fingers together on the table with his usual sense of decorum. 

“…No sweet treat today?” he asked ruefully.

You couldn’t contain your grin, whipping out your phone immediately to scroll through bakeries and ice cream parlors that stayed open late for sugar fiends like your adorable boyfriend.

Something had shifted recently. A tiny change in your dynamic that pricked ever so slightly at the center of his chest. Like everything else with you in this new lifetime, he tried his best not to sink his teeth into it and drag it forcefully out into the open. Used all his self-control to let you tend to it on your own terms and pretended not to notice. 

In hindsight, maybe the first change had been after he showered in your apartment for the first time. He had taken a polite amount of your body wash, trying his best not to infringe on your hospitality like a normal, human house guest, but as the scent of it (the scent of you) rolled over him his pupils had dilated. Fingers clenching against the bottle with the minute tingle of claws that no longer existed trying to come to the surface.

Smelling like you, knowing if anyone else walked by they would associate him with you and you with him, fed that deeply hidden instinct he tried so hard not to bother you with. You had scarcely gotten over your disgustand he was going to do his very best to keep it that way, annoying and primal dragon brain be damned. 

But still, just this once. Just this little thing would be okay, right?

Before he knew it he was drenching himself in the scent. Indulgent and greedy and marked by you. 

When he confessed nonchalantly to having used your entire bottle of body wash, playing it off as a taunt and hoping you didn’t notice the faint flush of his cheeks, he expected your usual annoyance or scathing remark. Some sort of sly dig that he could latch onto and use to keep your attention on him. It was the game this version of you liked to play, and like every version of himself he was happy to indulge. 

Instead, you had just hummed thoughtfully. Eyes a little distant as though ruminating over something in your head. The switch up made him tense just a little. Wonder if you could see through to the most feral part of him and if you would scorn him for it.

“You’ll have to give me a bottle of yours, then,” you said instead, eye contact oddly intentional for the moment, “to make it even.”

He almost jolted in place, clenching his fists at his sides for just a moment before relaxing.

She doesn’t know what it means. How could she? Swallow it down. Keep pretending that you can be human.

“Your negotiation skills have improved, kitten,” he speaks mildly, instead of pinning you to the couch the way he wanted to, “I suppose fair is fair.”

The second shift came in the form of a necklace, elaborately encrusted with bloodred rubies and sparkling diamonds. It rested in its glass case at an underground auction, the gleam of it against black velvet activating that familiar desire to possess and hoard away treasures so that nobody else could have them. He pictured it laying delicately across your neck and had to stop the rumble that threatened to emit from his chest. 

He sprung it on you right before an undercover mission to gain intel about a powerful protocore, one of many he had sought out and curated to spend a little more time with you. Tried to feed you some line about how you needed to fit in with the wealthy crowd you were attempting to infiltrate that night.

He expected you to remark about the exorbitant tastes of the uber rich or fluster about the idea of accidentally damaging such an expensive item and try to force it back into his hands. Both reactions were equally endearing to him, as was everything about you.

Instead, you only looked at him with that same thoughtful expression, allowing him to gently drape it over you and fasten it while narrowly avoiding the urge to take a deep inhale of the back of your neck. 

You examined yourself in the mirror, fiddling with the stones delicately, but your gaze was on his reflection behind you when you spoke.

“It’s pretty,” you spoke simply, your tone of voice one he hadn’t heard from you before. Something more gentle, not quite complacent but almost approving.

As if you were praising his tastes. Praising his hoard. Accepting his courting gift.

It was more difficult than ever to swallow that rumble back down again. The reaction was new, but you couldn’t possibly have understood the delusions you were feeding. Stay human. Keep letting her come to you. You already used up all your luck the first time around, you have to be more careful now.

His eyes scarcely left your neck for the rest of the night.

It wasn’t until days later that the final thread of his self-control snapped. The intel mission had taken longer than expected, and you were staying in his house to avoid the tedious commute from Linkon. A practical solution, he insisted to both you and himself, nothing to do with the primal desire to keep you firmly in his territory. 

He could scarcely pinpoint how it had happened, but sometime during your quiet evening routine of reading next to each other on the giant, plush couch in his living room you had ended up curled between the couch’s arm and him. You weren’t pinned down by any means, but you were entirely engulfed by his larger frame. If someone were to walk by they would not even be able to see you beyond him.

Completely covered on all sides. Protected from threats. Guarded by him. Nothing could touch you tucked so deeply into his territory, surrounded by him and his hoard and completely at ease.

Despite his most sincere efforts, he couldn’t stop the rumble from finally emitting from his chest. Couldn’t stop the deep purr that vibrated throughout him and rolled over you. 

He froze. Cut himself off from making any noise and, for a moment, even breathing. It was with great hesitation that he forced himself to meet your gaze. Fearful of the disgust and reproach that clouded your first meeting in this lifetime making a reappearance as you finally recognized the part of himself, he tried to keep buried for you.

Instead, that curious expression scanned over his face. Your head tilted to the side just a bit. Tentatively, you reached for his hair from where he was resting against your side and began running delicate fingers through it. His breath hitched. You glanced away from him, returning to your book but keeping up your gentle ministrations.

His purring started up again. A tiny smile twitched at the corners of your lips.

Caleb dutifully held the umbrella above your head as though he was getting paid for it, but you caught his gaze drifting to the puddles collecting near the sidewalk multiple times. Your mind drifted to rainy summer days when you were kids, sloshing around in puddles and competing to see who could slosh the most water at the other before Gran would poke her head out the front door to scold you both inside. Something twisted in your chest. Without thinking much further about it, you ducked out beneath the umbrella and took a flying leap into the nearest puddle, delighting in the small splash kicked up by your boots. 

“You trying to catch a cold, Pips?” Caleb’s tone was shrouded in playfulness, the way it always was around you, but underneath it was a brief waver, a sharpening of his gaze that revealed the true panic he felt at even the possibility of harm befalling you under his watch.

 The hypervigilance that couldn’t differentiate between a mild sickness and the sight of your battered, tiny body strapped to a white table. 

“So what if I do?” you challenged him then, hopping to an adjacent puddle and trying to keep the intention out of your voice. He flinched, as if you had just said something absurd. Opened his mouth to speak and then closed it again before trying to adjust to something more casual. Teasing and relaxed instead of the phrenetic and overbearing mess he tried so hard to hide from you.

“If you get sick you’ll have to skip the congressman’s dinner, and I’ll have to go alone. You wouldn’t do that to me, would you?” 

Right. An annual, stuffy dinner party where a bunch of government officials got together to talk about boring politics and pretend it was necessary to use four different forks for one meal. Half of them actively held grudges against Caleb for his unprecedented skyrocket to authority within the fleet and the other half thought he could be manipulated into granting them favors because of his youth. None of them deserved his time, you thought petulantly, not in the way you did. 

“So come get a cold with me,” you rebutted, tilting your head to the side playfully, “Then we can just stay home and play video games all day instead.” 

Caleb paused at this. You could practically see the cogs whirring in his brain as he tried to reconcile his pathological need for your safety with the temptation of staying inside with you all day, just the two of you, maybe curled up together on the couch as you ate snacks he would carefully prepare for you as he nurses you back to health, maybe sick with the same germs. His head tilted to the side like a puppy who had just heard the words walk, treat, and good boy in succession. 

 “…I bet we could even knock out a whole Lego set before we get better,” you sweetened the deal. 

Caleb practically flung the umbrella onto the sidewalk at this, giving no warning before launching himself into the puddle next to you and causing a significantly larger splash. You shrieked in both offense and thrill and splashed him back, reveling in the delighted laugh the usually curated man let out. The grin on his face was a little more crooked and uncontrolled than his usual teasing smile, the shrewd look in his eyes when he looked anywhere besides you just the tiniest bit lighter. It wasn’t a lot, but you were grateful for any amount of levity you could offer to him. Listening to the sound of his unrestrained laughter, something in you settled just a bit. 

For all his intelligence and capability, Caleb’s perception of himself was skewed by his self-imposed reluctance to ever look in the mirror. Caleb believed he was a feral wolf, with teeth too sharp to be filed down and starved by his trauma in a way that meant he’d never feel full again. So instead, he tried his best to show you a puppy. Docile and obedient without any appetite for vengeance or destruction. Someone who could curl up at your feet without you getting scared he’d sink his teeth into you the way he wanted to. You were the only one that knew he was neither.

Caleb was not the perfect, golden boy he spent so much of his life curating for you. He also wasn’t the cold, unfeeling weapon of destruction he desperately tried to hide away from your sight. He was something in between, childlike in his rage and his joy in equal measure. Calculating, certainly, and more than a little manipulative, but the end goal had always been to protect the both of you from a world that had never been as kind as he deserved. Caleb was not a monster, as he thought, or a perfect shield, as he so desperately wanted you to think. He was just a man, and once just a very scared boy. Just yours. And you would spend the rest of your life trying to prove that to him.

[allovesthings]

In my opinion, the butt jokes are incredibly incredibly tired.

So here are several fun facts about Dick that you can use for comedic effects/running jokes instead:

His hatred of Capes. Listen we are talking about Dick wore a yellow cape for 9 to 10 years in universe Grayson. The moment he changed his costume, he straight refused to ever wear a cape again, the only time he had to wear one, it was as Batman and it was very very frustrating for him.

You know that when he watched the Incredibles with Lian and Roy or Damian and Edna Mode came on screen with her hatred of capes, this was his reaction:

Someone else finally understand him. She instantly became his favorite character.

His tendency to put unknown substances/evidence in his mouth and being able to identify it by taste and his knowledge of what Heroin taste like (yep still not over it).

It's both impressive (the fact that he can actually identify something by taste alone is impressive) and gross and even his closest friends don't understand why he is the way that he is, Do we think it's the Bat training or do we think it's just Dick (tm)... I feel like it has to be just Dick, right ? considering everything in Gotham is a toxin of some kind ? How many heart attack do we think he gave both Bruce and the Titans with that ?

Dick Grayson namer of superhero things: Listen, I just learned that Dick named the Arrowcave and now I just kinda love the idea of a running joke that every time a classic superhero in contact with Robin has a goofy name for something superhero related, it probably comes from the 9 year old superhero who thought it sounded cool.

The Titans are never letting that go and Dick doesn't want to talk about it (but he secretly still really like the names, they were cool when he was 9 and pretty practical when you think about it, thank you very much).

Everyone has a crush on him (tm): Honestly it is pretty funny that everyone and theirs entire family have a crush on Nightwing (and also pretty consistent canon since Raven in ntt). The reaction of the batfam is annoyed because that's gross, it's Dick, theirs brother/son, and the Titans are amused (Donna, Vic, Garth and maybe Wally) or maybe sorta part of the people who have had a crush on him (Kory obviously , Roy, Raven).

You do need to be careful with that, but I think if you do the opposite of what DC is usually doing, you'll be fine.

Also you can also includes the disastrous first date with supergirl in that. She also had a crush on him and they date was so horrible that he considered changing superhero identity because it was so embarrassing (truly one of the greatest plot-point on Superman/batman world finest honestly and this series is genuinely my favorite modern/current series)..

His petty side when he doesn't like someone: Listen, Dick has a petty side, ask Helena circa Outsiders (2003), Talia (always), Jason circa the late 2000s (Morrison era) and Azrael (also always). When he doesn't like people but has to work with them, he is going to be a little shit because they have to know he doesn't like them. it's important. and the comedic potential of Nightwing, one of the most competent, known and admired hero of the community being so petty is excellent. 10 out of 10, I need him to work with someone he hates again just for the fun of it.

The last one is just an headcanon and do not have basis in canon as far as I know:

Sometimes, as an adult, Nightwing says Holy shit in front of a classic superhero and that superhero does a double take because they are so used to him saying Holy goly batman (and that include Batman).

[cryinggirlnamedhelen]

@rroxii my old one seems a little bit out of date now so i’m making a new one! if you still want to be tagged in the old one then let me know🫶

𝐁𝐋𝐋𝐊 𝐗 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑 𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐇

𝐈𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐈 𝐘𝐎𝐈𝐂𝐇𝐈 - 𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐎𝐅 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐊 ��𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊

𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 𝐑𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍 ; Jack and the Beanstalk is a fairy tale about a young man named Jack, who is living in poverty and is planning to sell his cow. He exchanges his cow for magic beans, and when he throws them into the dirt, they grow into a large beanstalk. Climbing on the large new plant, Jack comes face to face with a giant who plans to kill and eat Jack.

Determined, Jack runs away and steals the giants’ treasure as well. One thing leads to another, and the giant ends up falling off the clouds while Jack uses the treasure to live the rest of his life in luxury. The story teaches us that we should always make the best out of a bad situation, and that sometimes you will receive things that you don’t expect.

𝐑𝐎𝐘𝐀𝐋 𝐎𝐑 𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐄𝐋? ; By most standards, Isagi is already a Rebel. He doesn’t have any royal blood and isn’t heir to any throne, so he isn’t a Royal by any means. However, despite this, Isagi usually gets along fairly well with Royals.

𝐈𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐘 𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐃? ; Very much so. Isagi doesn’t initially realize this, although he soon does later on, but he follows his destiny on a near daily basis. He is constantly making the best out of a horrid situation, whether it’s his mutual hatred towards Prince Kaiser or learning how to overcome the challenge of Prince Rin. Isagi does plan to follow in his father’s footsteps of climbing the beanstalk.

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓 ; Since he has no predetermined love interest in his story, he is therefore free to choose whoever he desires to love forever and after.

𝐀𝐃𝐃𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 ;

He rooms with Mikage Reo, son of Prince Charming, and together they share the largest dorm in the school, although Isagi is fully aware that it’s because of Reo’s status that he managed to get such an enormous dormitory.

His favorite class at Ever After High is Hero Training due to the physicality of the class, and it may very well may be the only class that he excels at, as he has low to average scores in every other class that he takes. However, according to his roommate Reo, this is because Isagi always gets distracted by something else at night and forgets to study or do his homework.

Out of everyone in the school other than Reo, Isagi receives the most letters from home. Many other students are jealous of Isagi’s lovely family life and tend to turn bitter about such information.

Despite him not thinking of himself as popular, not a lot of people at school hate or even dislike Isagi. In fact, despite not realizing it, numerous people have crushes on Isagi, though many of them are often too shy to confess or drop any hints of their crush on him.

𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐄𝐋 𝐊𝐀𝐈𝐒𝐄𝐑 - 𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐎𝐅 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐘 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌, 𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐋…𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐘 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐓

𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 𝐑𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍 ; Beauty and the Beast is a timeless love story about a young girl who makes a trade with a Beast, who is also the owner of a castle, for him to keep her in the castle instead of her father. Though the story is told in a romantic view, it’s more or less Stockholm Syndrome.

However, eventually, the Beast and the young girl find themselves falling in love with one another, and after a long time of bonding and a tragic incident, the Beast is revealed to have been a handsome prince all along, and they live happily ever after.

Not in this version though. In this version, the young girl—though now a woman—realizes that her “love story” was in fact a case of Stockholm Syndrome, and after birthing her first child with the Beast, she leaves without her child.

𝐑𝐎𝐘𝐀𝐋 𝐎𝐑 𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐄𝐋? ; Everyone believed that Kaiser was a standard Royal at first glance, but Kaiser is in fact a Rebel. He has Royal blood and he is the heir to a throne, but he refuses to follow his Destiny of becoming a Beast out of disdain for his father. (Although according to Isagi, Kaiser doesn’t even need to change his appearance to become a Beast as he already is one.)

𝐈𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐘 𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐃? ; As already established, Kaiser doesn’t want to. However, in a surprising twist of fate, he wakes up one morning in a Beast form, therefore being forced into completing his Destiny. But he then refuses to see anyone out of fear as he doesn’t want to risk being with his one true love. However, he does end up turning back into a human again after (unwillingly) spending time with his one true love, and he’s still salty about completing his Destiny to this day, even when he’s betrothed to his one true love and soon to be King.

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓 ; Another Beauty would be his one true love, and it ended up that Cinderella’s child was his one true love. After all, they were kind, beautiful, and lovely, just like Kaiser’s type. Truly a lucky man, that Kaiser.

𝐀𝐃𝐃𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 ;

He rooms with Alexis Ness, who is perhaps the only person in the school who can stand Kaiser. His room is also fairly large, with his side of the room filled with blue roses and blue velvet furniture. Meanwhile, Ness’ side of the room is full of red roses and magenta and pink furniture; fitting for the child of Sleeping Beauty.

He has no favorite class at Ever After High, as he tends to skip class or he just doesn’t pay attention at all, though he always receives excellent marks. According to Ness, Kaiser scans his notes—that he had notably copied off of Ness’—once or twice and is able to get a perfect score on the next test.

There are many rumors circulating around the blue roses and crown tattoo running from his neck to his hand. Some say that it was to cover up a scar, others say that it’s just pure symbolism. However, one thing’s clear: the teachers and Headmaster all hate the tattoo.

He’s both popular and not at the same time. He has fans, and he never has trouble finding a partner or partners for anything, and people crowd around him often. But at the same time, no one other than Ness actually likes him and most people only cares about his skill and looks.

𝐈𝐓𝐎𝐒𝐇𝐈 𝐑𝐈𝐍 - 𝐒𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐃 𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐆 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌, 𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐋…𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐆

𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 𝐑𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍 ; The Princess and the Frog—or the Frog Prince depending on which you prefer—is an iconic story about a Prince who turns into a Frog and requiring a kiss in order to turn back into a human. However, when a girl kissed him, she turned into a Frog as well.

However, after spending time together as Frogs, they both end up falling in love. After a few conflicts, they finally turn back into humans and end up getting married with a happily ever after.

𝐑𝐎𝐘𝐀𝐋 𝐎𝐑 𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐄𝐋? ; Already, he lacks the Royal requirement of being the heir to a throne. His brother is the heir, Rin is just a spare. Despite that, Rin is still a prince. So he’s a royal, but just not Royal with a capital R or Ever After High Royal.

𝐈𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐘 𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐃? ; Rin doesn’t have a Destiny, that’s the problem. His older brother Itoshi Sae is the one who will turn into a Frog and wait for his true love to kiss him. Meanwhile, Rin is doing everything he can do in order to find a purpose and beat his brother in something, anything.

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓 ; Rin has no required love interest and therefore can pick and choose whoever he wants to release his romantic feelings towards. However, many strongly believe that Rin can’t love others, as even when the most beautiful of people confess to him, he rejects each and every person. Rin doesn’t know either; maybe he just hasn’t found the right person yet. Maybe.

𝐀𝐃𝐃𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 ;

He shares a room with Bachira, son of the Mad Hatter, and he despises it. Rin wasn’t even the one who chose the room; when asked for his preferences for roommates, he just wrote down “N/A”, and that led to him being dorm mates with Bachira. Rin’s side of the room is bland; with nothing but a chair, a desk, a bed, and a couch. Meanwhile, Bachira’s side of the room is wacky and full of bright colors and strange trinkets.

Rin’s favorite class is Dragon-Slaying, as it has little requirements other than the need to use weapons and to be quick on his feet. Dragon-Slaying is notably also one of the few things that Itoshi Sae isn’t particularly good at, according to Bachira.

Rin originally didn’t have any friends at Ever After High and didn’t plan to either, but Bachira ended up dragging him along and forcingly befriending him with Isagi, Nanase, and Hiori. After befriending such sunshiny people, many more people ended up losing their fear or disdain for Rin.

Whenever Rin’s parents come to visit, many often notice that Rin seems particularly distant with them and that they usually talk about Sae whenever they’re with Rin. Many have assumed that this could be a possible reason for why Rin bears such a grudge towards Sae.

𝐁𝐔𝐍𝐍𝐘 𝐈𝐆𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐈𝐀𝐒 - 𝐒𝐎𝐍 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐇𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐑𝐀𝐁𝐁𝐈𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐓 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐖𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃

𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 𝐑𝐔𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍 ; Alice in Wonderland is a classic novel by Lewis Carol, and it is about a young girl named Alice who sees a running white rabbit one day and decides to chase it. She falls down a rabbit hole, and ends up finding herself in a fantastical world named Wonderland.

Alice then attempts to find a way to go home, and along the way, she goes on numerous adventures in Wonderland, including her meeting with the Mad Hatter and the Cheshire Cat. However, when she finally encounters the tyrannical Queen of Hearts and finally finds a way to go home, the story ends.

𝐑𝐎𝐘𝐀𝐋 𝐎𝐑 𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐄𝐋? ; Bunny is a Rebel, as he doesn’t have a drop of Royal blood, he isn’t the heir to any throne, and he has no idea if he even wants to follow his Destiny. Despite that, he goes to visit Wonderland often.

𝐈𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐘 𝐅𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐃? ; Bunny has no idea. His Destiny is for him to run down the rabbit hole back to Wonderland one day when he’s late and wait for Alice’s child to follow him. But it’s a bland Destiny, and Bunny doesn’t even understand himself enough to know if he even wants to fulfill it.

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓 ; Bunny has no required love interest, though he always jokes that his love interest would and should be Alice’s child. Due to this, many people in the school ship the two together.

𝐀𝐃𝐃𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋 𝐈𝐍𝐅𝐎𝐑𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 ;

Bunny is rooming with Itoshi Sae, which many find both funny and scary at the same time. Itoshi Sae bears a clear loathing towards Bunny, though no one knows how Bunny feels towards Sae. Bunny’s side of the room is full of soft equipment and carrot plushies, while Sae’s side of the room is just a bed and a table and a chair.

No one knows the mechanics of how the White Rabbit and the Cheshire Cat even managed to conceive or have Bunny, and no one wants to know either. Taking advantage of this, Bunny often threatens to tell someone the method of his birth whenever he finds it funny, although it’s unclear whether or not he actually knows how it happened.

There are numerous rumors about Bunny’s scars, although Bunny usually jokes that he once fought a Dragon and that’s how he got his scar, which no one believes. The most unchained theory about his scars is that the Cheshire Cat scratched him a bit too hard once when he was younger.

His suicidal terms and phrases often scare many away despite his calm and collected nature and good looks. Many have urged him to go see the Counselor or a therapist of some sort, though he always just refuses with a smile.

[smuttysabina]

The Most Motherly Maknaes

(Male Reader x Purple Kiss Swan and Dreamcatcher Gahyun, 6K Words) Tags: Mommy Fetish; Threesome, Tittyfucking; Double Tittyfucking, Fat sloppy creampies; Praise Fetish; Virgin Sex; Yet more Mommy Fetish; Oral and Vaginal Sex; Lots of Kissing and pampering; Oh hey, Jihyo is in this one as well, what a surprise; You don't get to fuck her though, maybe next time; Implications of Incest; Pregnancy; Also apron fetish I guess?

You had always had an absent mother, so it was somewhat of a pleasant surprise when you acquired two new ones, who were far more attentive. Their breasts squishing against either side of your chest, while the warmth of their breath tickles your neck, you find yourself trapped in their less than wholesome embrace. One of them is demanding of your attention, her luscious lips split by a wicked smile as she rewards your boldness with further "encouragement", pushing you to indulge yourself more. While the other is kindly and supportive, her fuller curves drowning you in affection whenever you crave solace, but always pressing you to try again. Gahyun and Swan may have been abysmal at getting you to focus fully upon your calculus homework, but they were excellent at satiating your desire for motherly attention; if not your passion for something more... Their hands gently close around the embarrassingly obviously bulge in your pants as they both whisper in your ears,

"Good boy..."

With your father busy spending his evenings plowing his secretary, and your mother constantly overseas on business (as well as whoring around), it had fallen to your dear cousin Jihyo to check in on you in what scattered time she had. Of course, as an active idol wrangling eight other active idols, she had only been able to visit on occasion, and when she had, more often than not she arrived dragging a whole train of girls. So you became well acquainted with the ladies of Twice, though soon enough girls from other groups would spice the mix, and looking back on it there was perhaps a noticeable preference for idols with matronly features... Beautiful Momo with her ditzy airs, Nayeon who always looked somewhat carnivorously at you, Jeongyeon who spent so much time teasing you, the elegant Karina, always accompanied by a warm Winter, kindly Nancy who doted upon you; and of course, many more who were lacking in such sizable assets. By the time you had finally grown into a man, these gorgeous women had pranced through your dreams on a regular basis, and Nayeon had started drooling uncontrollably whenever she was around you for more than five minutes. This attraction had not gone unnoticed, and so of course Jihyo had decided to act before she found the two of you in the closet; or really, any of the other idols. The last time Itzy had visited, Yeji had had to physically restrain Yuna, and the usually dorky leader herself had shown brief lapses where she would stare intensely at you, her eyes twitching spasmodically. To forestall the tragic loss of your virginity to a horde of slavering idols then, Jihyo, in her infinite yet somewhat warped wisdom, came to the obvious solution to the problem...

The afternoon had begun like any other, the dull mundanity of schoolwork, punctuated only by the brief breaks of entertainment when you would glance at your phone during a break. At least until the ping of a notification snatched your attention, and you read the message from your cousin Jihyo. She and a few (so probably a "few" dozen) girls would be swinging by to visit, but unfortunately she herself would be delayed by a few hours due to something coming up at work; but of course you would be a dear and entertain the girls already on their way? With a resigned sigh you halt your tiring journey through calculus, and hurriedly tidy up the place, not that it ever really got very messy, but still; the devil was in the details. After getting things touched up, you slouch back onto the couch, stuck in that annoying state of wary idleness as you wait for your slightly unwanted guests to arrive; hopefully Jihyo would be able to finish up whatever she was working on quickly, so you wouldn't get distracted for too long. You had barely started to settle in when the doorbell rang, and grumbling softly you scurry over to the door, throwing it open in welcome to reveal not the horde you had expected, but merely two idols. Gahyun and Swan blink bemusedly at your shocked face, before politely inviting themselves inside, squishing themselves against you in a warm hug that sends your heart racing a little.

The pair were, well, sizably endowed to say the least, a fact that remained prominent in your mind as you lead them to the couch, and as they slip in on either side of you. It was a struggle to not stare dumbly down at their exposed cleavage, but you manage to contain yourself to polite glances, and the girls do not comment if you perhaps spend a little too long looking. Swan was the more curvaceous of the two, her top straining to contain her hefty breasts, her body so soft you could drown in it. Gahyun meanwhile made up for her comparative lack of shapeliness with a vivacious and teasing attitude that soon had her teasing her companion relentlessly; and her chest was still sizable enough to distract anyone. The fact that both maknaes had you comparing their ample bodies, and not the intricacies of derivations, did not bode well for your productivity this night; not that the girls weren't trying to be supportive. Like any good guest, the idols did their best to repay your generosity as a host by helping you through your mundane tasks, so that you might fully entertain them when they are done. Therefore, they peered intently over your work, rummaging through their brains for long-forgotten knowledge before dispensing it in a haphazard manner; and with every movement they seemed to press closer against you. Soon you can barely move your arm without brushing against their breasts, as they each encourage you in their own ways; Gahyun pushing you, while Swan guides you.

You really would like to be able to finish your work, but your hindbrain was starting to swamp your forebrain with hormones, distorting its attempts to solve complex mathematics; those "3"s really looked a lot like Gahyun's lips... Something warm bulges against your leg, your body reacting naturally to the intimate proximity of such gorgeous ladies, even as you do your best to ignore its lascivious demands. But the busty maknaes are more receptive to your body's desires, they can smell the stench of lust emanating from you, and they seem more than willing to satiate it. The idol's hushed advice now steams against your neck and ears, making you shiver, their curvaceous forms invade your personal space beyond the point of politeness, and their fingers tip-toe oh so delicately along your thighs. Your pen slips from your grasp as you feel something soft press against your neck, and a stain of wetness drags itself up the other side. You shudder as the two idols kiss their way along your neck, but withdrawing before they could reach your own lips. The pair smile at you from either side, "Ready to become a man?" Gahyun purrs seductively, Before Swan chimes in, "Don't worry," she sighs, "We'll be gentle, a good boy like you deserves to have a nice first time, don't you think?"

Indeed, this was not exactly how you had planned on losing your virginity, you had imagined it would have been beneath Nayeon as she rode your first load out of you, or pinned down by one of the nymphos of Itzy, or even shuddering between the limber thighs of Wonyoung as she haughtily consents to opening her legs for the blood-relative of Jihyo; but not by such... motherly women. They politely take their turns kissing you, all the while praising you, scratching at an itch you had always born. Gahyun's lips are greedy for yours, her tongue eagerly slipping into your mouth to tussle with your own; then it is Swan's turn, her kisses more demure and reserved, more keen on showing you how to kiss properly than using your mouth for her own pleasure. Your face is already flushed by the time they are satisfied, your heart hammering in your chest, and they have barely even gotten started yet. With a knowing smile, Swan sits erect, reaching behind herself to unhook her bra and allowing her capacious breasts to droop freely down her chest. She leans back, allowing you to drink in the sight of her enormous assets, their dark nipples accentuated by her sizable areolas. Swan brings your head down into her cleavage, smushing your face between her boobs and urging you to indulge yourself; and soon you are suckling upon her nipple like a baby while you knead her tits. When you stop sucking it is only to unintentionally moan one word, which makes the idols share a pleased smile, and Swan agrees, "That's right dear, just let it go, be a good boy for mommy."

You shudder with unfathomable satisfaction as something in your brain clicks, your long-suffering desire for motherly approval was finally being satiated; and it when mixed with your youthful lust it scratched an itch you probably should have realized you had. Perhaps unsurprisingly, you were quite the mommy's boy. So you luxuriate in the warm comfort of Swan's breasts, while she rains praise down upon you; at least until Gahyun joins in on the fun, squishing her own massive boobs against your face. While your head is wrapped in such a soft embrace, your manhood conversely strains against your pants for release, and the moment your hips start to writhe the idols take notice. Gahyun leans down and kisses your forehead, "Aww, look how needy you are!" she purrs salaciously, "Don't worry, Mommy Gahyun will make it all better, okay?" Then with a devilish smile she wriggles down between your legs, carelessly shoving the low table back away from the couch as she crouches on the floor. Gahyum expresses shock after she wrenches your pants off, allowing your manhood to flop free of its confines, resting meatily upon your groin as she laughs with delight. You try and adjust it, but she slaps your hands away, "Just sit back dear, and let Mommy do all the work," she licks her luscious lips, "just look how hard you are..."

Snuggled between Swan's sizable cleavage, you open your legs so that Gahyun can have her way with you, which she does with evident relish. Her perky lips slip down your shaft, slathering your cock with her moist spit, staring up into your eyes as she takes your dick to the hilt down her throat. You groan loudly as your new Mommy gives you your first blowjob, and your balls throb as you struggle to contain yourself. But Gahyum has no intention of your first load sliding down her gullet, and after your meat has been suitably lubricated she pulls off of you; leaving behind only a red smear of lipstick around your base as evidence of her skills. Another smudge graces her cheek as she cleans off her lips with the back of her hand, and as she readies her breasts for what will come next, Swam murmurs praise down at you for holding on so well. Wearing a wicked grin, Gahyun pushes your cock between her breasts, squishing them around your shaft until only your tip peeks out. If her tits had felt heavenly pressed against your face, they felt transcendent when wrapped around your manhood, their softness moving up and down your length with surprising ease. Gahyun giggles at your facial expression, "You had better not cum yet dear, you can hold on for me, right?" Swan agrees, wrapping her arms around you to hold you tightly, "Mhmm don't finish yet, be a good boy and hold that load in for Mommy!"

Gahyun plays your meat like an instrument, pleasuring it with her smooth breasts until you are on the edge of climax, before pausing until your balls had fallen enough before continuing. Of course, after a few rounds of this you were begging for it, pleading with your Mommies for release, willingly submitting to their affections as you chased your orgasm. It also was not helping that it felt so good putting all your trust in them, these Mommies would not leave you, they would keep showering you with love and support so long as you remained a good boy, right? And it seems like you were, when Gahyun stops tittyfucking you so that she can stand and wriggle out of her jeans and panties, revealing her most precious spot for you to gawp at. She smirks at your reaction, before shooting a glance up at Swan's unseen expression, "What, your lips took his first kiss, its only right that mine take his first load," Swan evidently demurs, because she leans down to kiss your forehead, "Time to become a big boy," she informs you kindly, as Gahyun eagerly straddles your crotch. Her breasts brush against your face while her hand grasps your dick, lining it up for insertion before Swan chides her, "Geez let him watch!" Sighing, Gahyun indulgently leans back, allowing you to drink in the sight of her weighty breasts, as well as the glistening slit you will soon be filling. Her core tensing, she then raises herself up, bending your cock back until it kisses her wet entrance. Gahyun smiles teasingly, then she sits on it.

You moan unashamedly as your virginity is taken, your manhood pulsing as it is engulfed in Gahyun's warm, sloppy insides, every inch of it disappearing into her like magic until her prim lower lips reach the red mark left by her other lips. Her face as flushed as your own, Gahyun leans down to kiss you hungrily before breaking it off to growl, "Thanks for your virginity dear, how does your first woman feel?" You answer honestly, and her lips curl into a smug smile, "Good boy, now relax, try to hold on as long as you can..." Her pussy had felt sublime just soaking your cock in her juices, but when she started moving it was all you could do but clutch onto wobbling breasts and hold on for dear life. With your dick having been subjected to such extensive foreplay, you were never going to last very long, but things were hardly helped by the constant praise the two idols heaped upon you. "Such a good boy..." "Holding on for so long..." "Isn't she so tight?" "I can feel it twitching..." "Just let go..." "Good boy..." "Good boy..." "Do it, do it now..." "Do it for Mommy..." Gahyun grasps your face with either hand, staring intensely into your eyes, "Cum for Mommy," she purrs, and you do.

Your mind goes blank as pleasure surges through your shaft and into the warmth of Gahyun's belly, a seemingly endless tide of bliss that leaves you gasping for your Mommies. Squished between their soft bodies, you melt into them, unmoving except for the furious clenching of your manhood as it pumps an idol's pussy full of your sperm. When you come to, Gahyun has a look of sublime contentment upon her face, relishing in the feeling of her pussy being swamped by semen, her eyelashes fluttering with every fading pulse of your balls, "Fuck," she sighs, "Virgins always cum so fucking much, no wonder Nayeon got addicted to this..." Then she opens her eyes and smiles down at you, giving you a congratulatory kiss before asking, "So, how does it feel to be a big boy?" You awkwardly stammer out a reply to this goddess, but she laughs and hushes you after your words turn to gibberish, "Don't strain yourself dear, just relax, doesn't it feel so nice to be between us after you cum?" It does indeed, your usual post-coital sadness extinguished as you cuddle between the two idol's voluptuous bodies. After a little while, Gahyun slowly pries herself from your arms unmounts you, your cock soft enough that it flops out almost immediately, and her pussy squelches as it burps out some of your load. Giggling, she stoops down to clean your meat off with your mouth before rejoining you on the couch. The girls shift around, and you find yourself on your side facing Swan, as it is now Gahyun who presses up behind you, her breasts sticking against your sweaty back.

Swan hums soothingly, playing with your hair as her other hand traces along your sides along with Gahyun's, their touch making you shiver. You meanwhile suck on Swan's breasts like a baby, content in your vulnerability, feeling so safe and protected in their arms that you let down your barriers and indulge in the pleasures of being pampered again for the first time in a long time. The idols for their part seem more than enthusiastic about showering you with yet more attention, playing the part of your Mommies to perfection and lavishing you with love. And when you once again feel something stirring between your legs, the girls are purring with anticipation as they susurrate their soft bodies against yours, your pitiful moans only arousing them even more. Swan runs an idle fingertip along your shaft, causing you to twitch, "Does Mommy need to help her good boy drain his balls again?" You nod shyly, your submissiveness making Swan's lips part sultrily, "Well then, I imagine you want Mommy to sit on it again? You seem to enjoy just taking it..." Your cock bulges in answer, and both idols giggle. Swan huffs playfully, "Goodness Gahyun, what are we going to do with him?" Gahyun laughs, "Fuck him, of course!" Swan snorts before thoughtfully tapping her chin, "No, I think he should fuck me this time," she glances down at you, "I like making the cute ones work for it."

As the idols untangle themselves from you, Swan slips off her shorts, and finally pulls her top and bra up from where they had pooled around her neck. Fully naked, she leans back on the couch, allowing you to drink in the sight of her fertile body spread before you; from her pillowy breasts, down to where her healthy tummy curved into a prominent pubis that supported her puffy pussy. Trembling with nervous excitement, you hesitantly move between her legs until she stops you with a ginger to the forehead. She points downwards, "Eat your meal before you have your dessert," she chides you with a smile, before pressing down on the top of your head. Awkwardly, you crawl down her body, squirming around to support yourself properly as you breathe in the stench of your Mommy's sopping pussy. A layer of soft black hair graces her crotch, not long enough to get in your way, but it adds to the mature aura Swan was emitting. You lower your face down onto her sex, and timidly run your tongue up between her moist folds, lathering it with her honey. It tastes like an odd mixture of fish and piss, but your hindbrain correctly interprets it as delicious, and so you dig in with gusto. The salty tang of her pussy fills your mouth as you inexpertly lick up and down her labia, Swan holding your head in place with one hand as she gropes herself with the other, and you grind your crotch against the couch as you eat her out.

Eventually, Swan is satisfied enough by your efforts that she gently pushes your head from between her meaty thighs and hauls you back atop her voluptuous body. She was as soft as the cushions you had just been laying upon, her face flushed with arousal as she pulls you into a deep kiss while her arms clutch at your back. With the taste of both of her lips upon your tongue, you hump needily at her sex, prodding at her wet folds with your cock as you gormlessly try and enter her. With an amused sigh, Swan breaks off the kiss, and reaches down to guide you in, "No, wait like a good boy, just let me line it up and then-" she lets out a soft moan as you impulsively thrust forward the moment your tip enters her warmth, "Oh there you go dear, now you're inside Mommy..." The sultry heat of her pussy engulfs your shaft as you fill her until your balls press against her asshole, leaving you groaning her name as your cock pulses with pleasure. Swan pulls your head down into her breasts as you awkwardly start fucking her, your movements hindered by your inexperience, but your Mommy does not seem to mind. With one hand curling your hair while the other roams your back, she soothingly urges you to go slow, "Just like that dear, just focus on how warm and soft Mommy feels.." You try your best to keep your thrusts languid, you really do, but Swan's pussy was so wet it was dripping down your balls, and your body was unable to resist doing its best to plow her pillowy softness. Mommy is understanding though, and she locks her legs tightly around your waist as she urges you on, "That's it dear, its okay, Mommy knows how good it feels, Mommy is proud you lasted so long inside of her, so hush," she pushes your head against her neck so she can whisper in your ear while your body is fully meshed against hers, "Just let it out dear, it's okay to cum inside, Mommy will take responsibility, just relax and breed me," you moan plaintively as your thrusts grow long and deep, and Swan purrs happily, "Mhmm, there you go, breed me, breed your Mommy...oh there's so much..."

You shudder in Swan's loving embrace as the most powerful orgasm of your life rocks your body, your hips spasming as you try and unload as much semen as possible inside of her fertile pussy. The idol continues to murmur encouragement as pleasure gushes through you, her soft body feeling divine against yours as your overstimulated nerves make you writhe. You are left feeling drained and exhausted, your balls aching from the size of the load you had just spurted inside of Swan, sweat making your skin stick together as you lay atop her. Your Mommy does not try to move you though, instead letting you rest in her arms while your cock slowly shrinks until it is barely laying inside of her sloppy hole. Only once the after-effects of your climax fade does she release you, allowing you to stagger upright, looking down at her voluptuously formed body that you had so recently claimed with your seed. But lest you forget, you had two Mommies, and Gahyun was keen to remind you of that fact. Her kiss is hungry and demanding, her tongue invading your mouth and slaking itself upon your own. Your hands involuntarily come up and start groping her ample chest, which only seems to deepen her passionate kiss, until it feels like her tongue is going down your throat. You are left breathless and lightheaded, and you willingly allow Gahyun to pull your face down into her tits as she leans back against the couch, leaving you bent over with a nipple in your mouth.

Gahyun smirks down at you, "Suck on them, dear," she orders before glancing up, "Want to get him hard again for me?" she asks. You hear Swan shifting behind you as she gets up, "Oh sure, I don't mind cleaning up my own messes either," you feel her hands against your thighs as she makes you open your legs, "Adorable... oh wow, it is still leaking out, I wonder if I'll end up getting knocked up from this," Gahyun laughs, "Jihyo would love that," her gaze flicks down to you, "Did Mommy say you could stop sucking? Back to work dear!" Gahyun shoves your face back into her breast, force-feeding you her hardening nipple as you slurp messily upon it, "That's it, good boy!" Gahyun groans. Something warm and wet lazily traces its way up your shaft, making you start, but your Mommy keeps your attention firmly upon her while her counterpart toys with your manhood. Swan sucks and licks the sticky mess off of your cock, steadily nursing it back into its full length; your balls might still be recovering, but your member was already eager for more. Her tongue traces its way up your taint, as your dick is suddenly engulfed in a soft pressure that was rather familiar to you. You moan into Gahyun's boobs as Swan squishes her cleavage around your manhood, your entire length buried between her breasts as she uses them to massage you. Completely at her mercy, all you can do is mewl around Gahyun's nipple as Swan reminds you how stimulating a tittyfuck can be. Only when your cock starts to pulsate does she relent; after all, it was Gahyun's turn.

Gahyun wears a wicked smile as she bends over the couch, wiggling her ass enticingly as you shuffle over on your knees; your cock waving as it spears the air in front of you. Her smirk grows wider as your trembling hands grasp her waist as you clamber between her legs and into position, your dick rubbing between her modest cheeks against her slit. Your hotdogging grows more determined as Gahyun's lower lips moisten, your manhood eager to enjoy your Mommy's warmth once more; and so you angle yourself horizontally and press forward. For a second time, you simply end up prodding at your partner's folds, unable to figure out how to enter her, but before your frustration grows, Gahyun reaches between her thighs and grasps your meat, "Say please," she says, glancing back at you; and you do. She laughs, "So obedient! Can we keep him, Swan?" Your Mommy is kind enough to angle your cock properly though, even while she teases you relentlessly. You are unable to contain a shudder as your member slips inside of Gahyun once more, its tight folds gripping your shaft like a long-lost lover as you fill her pussy with every inch of you. Tentatively, you start to thrust, and soon discover why doggy was so popular a position, it was so much easier than missionary to get your strokes in! Gahyun giggles as you go to town on her from behind, expertly arching her back to drive you even wilder, "C'mon dear, Mommy likes it rough," she purrs, "So put your back into it! Make me feel good!" In all honesty, it was hard not to be a little rough in this position, the ease of motion and the cushioning of her ass cheeks made it difficult to resist slamming yourself against her as hard as you could. And while your balls were still gathering themselves for another load, your length was brimming with pleasure as you fuck your Mommy with youthful vigor.

The sound of your flesh slapping against Gahyun's was only barely louder than the noise her breasts made as they clapped together with every thrust. Your abs burn from overuse, your muscles unused to being put to use in such a particular manner and for so long, but you were unable to stop yourself from continuing to plow your Mommy; even as sweat pours down you. Her pussy was addicting, tight enough that your cock felt like it was in a vice, yet loose enough that you never had any trouble pulling out for a fresh plunge into her depths. Swan had joined the fun as well, squishing her curvaceous body up against your back, her hands stroking your chest while she urges you on; the feeling of her massive tits suctioned to your skin spurring you on. Gahyun suddenly begins moaning, hissing into the couch, "Yesssss, right there right there right there!" And when you start to fuck her even harder she snarls in approval, "Don't you dare fucking stop dear, just like that, Mommy is going-" she lets out a sudden gasp, and you feel her pussy spasming around your shaft; Swan purring with approval as Gahyun orgasms on your dick. You are left shocked and dazed, more than a little exhausted from your burst of effort, but still surprised that you had managed to make an experienced idol like Gahyun cum so easily... When she slips off your cock, her cunt leaves behind a layer of milky cream, sure evidence of your efforts.

Gahyun languidly turns around, smoothly moving to kiss you once more, and you are trapped between your two Mommies. both of them nibbling upon you while showering you with praise, "Oh good boy..." "Such a good boy..." "Just look at how nice you made Mommy feel!" "She left such a mess on your cock..." "It must have felt so good, didn't it?" "Mommy is so proud that you lasted so long..." "Your poor balls must be aching..." "Mmm... still hard?" "Oh... yes he is!" "Should we?" "We shall!" "Why don't we... you know?" "I think that's a proper present for our darling..." Your Mommies giggle knowingly as Swan slips around to your front and joins in devouring your lips, spittle slopping down your chin as her tongue joins Gahyun's in violating your mouth until your head spins.

Both Idols are smirking as they drag themselves down your chest, causing you to shiver as their rigid nipples trace along your skin. They kneel together in front of you, before wrapping one arm around each other's shoulders, and squishing their chests together, their ample breasts squirming against one another as they form a fleshy prison for your cock. With their free arms, the motherly pair grasp your ass and haul you closer until your tip is against the sweaty entrance to their conjoined cleavage. "Don't stop until your balls are empty, dear," Gahyun growls up at you, while Swan sighs, "Just relax, and let it all out for your Mommies, okay?" You nod hurriedly, before pressing forward into the supple pussy the idols made from their tits, your member buried in their soft flesh, its passage eased along by Gahyun's juices still coating your dick. Their breasts were large enough that you did not even emerge on the other side, and if anything it felt as good as their holes had, it was warm, moist, and oh so pliable. The sound of you plowing your Mommies' massive mammaries was appallingly loud, a dull squelching noise that erupted from between their cleavage with every thrust, but that just aroused you even more. You groan as you pump between their tits, holding onto their shoulders while you use their cleavage like the world's best fleshlight, your brain turning to mush as their warm pillows press in on either side of your manhood.

Your Mommies continue to pamper you even as you violate their chests with your cock, telling you what a good boy you were, saying how proud of you they were, how they just knew that you would be able to give them every last drop... The stimulation from their huge breasts was starting to get to you, and it was not helping that Gahyun and Swan would occasionally pause in their vocal encouragements to sloppily make out, their spit raining down onto their cleavage and seeping in to soak your penis. It was all too much. The idols' moans of pleasure, the burning heat suffusing your shaft, the texture difference between Swan's softer boobs and Gahyun's firmer ones, the feeling of their hard nipples scraping along your length as you thrust past them... You were going to cum, you were going to impregnate your Mommie's fat juicy tits, you were going to fill their cleavage with your sticky seed, you were going to drench them with your semen until your balls were dry. Your Mommies' eyes light up as you near climax, and they use their hands to drive you into them even harder, as a final groan escapes your lips and your eyes roll back as you finish. Ropes of jizz spew into the tight confines between Gahyun and Swan's breasts, dripping down onto their thighs while they gasp and coo with delight. Your orgasmic convulsions grow so strong with your cock head pops out from between its fleshy prison, showering their chests with your load and painting their chins with watery cum. With your cock now in the open the girls don't wait for a second, with first Swan taking your cooling meat into her mouth and slobbering all over it before letting Gahyun take her turn as well.

So that was how your first time ended, with two beautiful Mommies passing your messy cock between them as they sucked it clean; well, relatively clean. Of course they cuddled with you afterwards, pressing in on either side and purring with praise while your seed dried upon their flushed bosoms, giving you and each other more than a few kisses. Eventually you recovered enough to take stock of your surroundings, and you realize that you were in fact, no longer alone. Jihyo was curled up calmly in one of the chairs to the side of the couch, wearing not but an apron, blissfully ignoring the sizable wet stain on the fabric between her legs. She beams with pride when you notice her, clapping her hands in together, "So, how was your first time? Was it as satisfying as you thought it would be? Oh! Don't rush yourself dear, dinner is on the table, I'm sure everyone is absolutely famished!" You can only gawp as your cousin blabbers happily at you, just how long had she been there for? Just how much had she seen? But your stomach growls loudly at the thought of food, and your worries fade as you consider your much more pressing need. Somewhat awkwardly, the three of you untangle yourselves before following Jihyo into the dining room; if Gahyun or Swan were the least bit embarrassed at walking around stark naked around the other idol with her cousin's semen leaking from their holes and smeared across their chests, they did not show it.

After a somewhat awkward dinner where Jihyo merrily grilled you on every nasty detail of your first time, she cheerily shoos Gahyun and Swan out, though not before dressing them, and not before both of them gave you rather passionate kisses in goodbye. Then it was just you and your cousin Jihyo, who playfully undoes her apron, allowing it to pool at her feet; you had always known she was busty, but seeing her like this... Her tummy still bulged with pregnancy, and her breasts had swollen up even larger than you had ever imagined in your naughtiest wet dreams. Jihyo tickles your chin, "So, my darling baby cousin is now a man, I am so proud of you!" Somehow, Jihyo's praise hits you even harder than the others' had, and warmth fills your chest. Jihyo beams at your reaction, "Well, I'll stay for a bit and help clean up, but when I get back on Saturday..." she leans close, her engorged nipples brushing against your chest, "I want to see just how much you've grown up," she whispers, her eyes alight with lust for you in the first time you can remember. Then it is back to her usual teasing self, "Of course, Nayeon will want a turn, she's been sniffing your dirty underwear for like a year now. Oh, and I think Somi might be wanting to get in on the action as well, she's been masturbating to you for a while now..." she trails off, giving you an amused look, "What dear, are you so surprised? It tickles a girl's motherly instincts to see a boy with such obvious... issues."

As you go to bed that night, your heart is filled with a contentment that it had not been with in a long while. After all, you might have an absent mother figure, but it seems like you now had a plethora of Mommies to fill that void...

[hauntingmisery]

i know stobotnik dynamic’s been established in the fandom since day 1 and sunshine/moon is a classic for a reason but. just think about it for a second 

there’s almost nothing we know about pre-canon and pre-working together stobotnik. ivo jokes about being an orphan (jokes as coping mechanism let’s gooo) a couple of times and lee mentioned seeing stone as an orphan as well, both of them being very lonely and detached from human connections since childhood thus becoming very dependent on each other 

we also know how much of a competent badass stone is in that second movie prequel comic 

so imagine younger agent stone – no family, excellent military/espionage training, the next smartest person in the room after robotnik, cynical and cold 

and ivo – expressive attention seeking clown that probably got so much government funding by being the loudest robotnik in history, enjoying all the tiptoeing from the generals that feeds his ego on daily basis 

walters moves in mysterious ways, not god-like but more of a way too nosy grandfather-like. we can only imagine why he approved of the idea to get them to work together 

stone’s first day? 

robotnik is excited to show off his superiority in the rudest way possible, maybe even prepares a couple of new insults, confident to scare off yet another stupid little ant (so what if agent’s file is completely classified, nothing robotnik hasn’t seen before, that’s the line of work they’re in after all) 

agent stone is not easily impressed. he’s got blood on his hands, he changed so many identities he doesn’t know who he is anymore. and he feels so numb inside that he’s not even interested in finding out. so he’s not impressed by insults 

he is, however, impressed by something else, don’t worry 

robotnik’s seen as a robot by everyone around him. but robot is something that works for human, does what it’s told, no questions asked. that’s the opposite of ivo robotnik. stone is much closer to that definition 

and robotnik is easy. few cups of coffee, a compliment here and there, pretend to be less smart than you actually are so he gets an ego boost, ask something so he can yapp your ears off, sort his emails, call generals basic and boom – you got yourself perfectly functioning and somewhat satisfied evil genius 

now back to the impressive part: robotnik is impulsive to the point he’s awfully honest. his needs are very loud and oh isn’t it addictive to be needed for the first time in your life. he pokes stone for attention so hard it’s almost cute 

stone starts to smile and laugh, not just polite or passive aggressive way but genuinely happy to see robotnik goofing around 

robotnik picks up stone’s paranoia about security, thinks twice before spilling his biggest ambitions to the government, but invites stone to see his private ruling-the-world vision board

im not saying they changed each other for the better cause. you know. a villain and an enabler. but they definitely made each other happier

we saw how shocked ivo was when he realised someone actually cared about him. imagine what could’ve happened if he knew how much of an impact he had on another person himself. okay i’ll go cry in my corner now 

anyway tldr: they match each other’s freak and we are happy for them

[fillinforlater]

C'mon

Choi Yunjin (Jini) x Oh Haewon, Kang Seulgi

Length: 7895 words

Tags: lesbian sex, girl x girl relationships, idol x idol, fingering, licking, heart break, drunk sex, hook up, thigh riding, eating out, there is a story in this, like really I tried doing drama and all that

TW: rusty writing, rusty editing

Inspiration: "C'mon" by JINI (if you pay attention to the lyrics, they might come up in this fic again)

(A/N: yeah, I'm back for a hot second. I had this fic in the freezer, topped it off with a hot/cute ending to give you hope that I might return xD I hope you enjoy it all; the plot, the sex. Happy Pride Month, remember to be excellent to each other and accept them, even if you might not understand everything <3)

“Have you seen the new trainee?”

Jini looks up from her phone, the instagram story instantly forgotten at the sight of Haewon entering the living room. She has a white towel atop her round face, an oversized t-shirt enveloping not only her entire upper body but also her butt and crotch. Jini is very much used to this style, especially post showering, hell, she even started to copy Haewon after only a few weeks of training together. Yeah, it only took weeks. Everything went so fast.

“Oh, you mean Sullyoon?” Jini responds, eyes blatantly fixated on Haewon’s lips. “Yeah, I saw her. She is very pretty.”

“Oh yeah?” Haewon raises her chin and slowly steps closer to the couch Jini sits on. “So she is very pretty.”

“Not only very pretty,” Jini breathes, her voice teasing, she drops the phone. “I think she’ll be the visual of the group.”

Haewon is right above her now, staring down at Jini’s smirk. Jini knows that her girlfriend can never resist her addictive teasing, the naughty words that are nothing but a set up to get in the mood. It works like a charm, even right after a shower, Haewon is ready to get sweaty again. 

“You’re on a first name basis too,” Haewon remarks before suddenly grabbing Jini’s t-shirt and pulling the stunning stunned girl's face close. Jini huffs, her face is flushed with thrill, the excitement of getting Haewon aroused and ready to press her body on hers. “Why are you wearing my t-shirt again?”

“I like how big it is… and how it smells.”

“Take it off.”

An order Jini gladly follows, though she remains purposefully slow to enjoy Haewon’s gaze on her toned, bare body underneath the thin, white cloth, which is quickly discarded behind the couch. Haewon’s knee carefully opens Jini’s legs as both of them lean closer to each other, yet to touch, but the heat of their bodies already merging. 

“Only panties?” Haewon notices, not looking at the tiny pink thing covering Jini’s sex, hell, she’s not even looking at the nude hills with hard nipples atop of them. She only focuses on Jini’s eyes and the black haired girl wouldn’t have it any other way. This is why she loves this dork so much. 

“I bet it’s the same for you, babe,” Jini giggles, finally courageous enough to dig her hand beneath the towel into Haewon’s moist hair. “I need you.”

“I know, baby. Have I told you I love you before?” 

Haewon’s dorkiness is showing. Before Jini can respond, the soon-to-be-leader shoves her knee right on Jini’s pussy while her hands both grind over Jini’s sensitive breasts. The timing is a bit off, the movement sloppy, but Jini would not have it any other way. Haewon could even do some cringy shit right now, and Jini would still be wet and horny for the older’s fingers.

“Y-yes, babe,” Jini moans, biting her pointer as to not alert someone who might possibly pass this dorm room. “You do it all the time, I—oh my God!”

Haewon’s tongue glides over her girlfriend's collar, up her throat to her chin, Jini’s chin, the most sensitive chin in the world. It’s a unique spot to be so erogenous, and Haewon is ready to use it for Jini’s peak pleasure. The moment she nibbles on the smooth curve, Jini pulls her in, the rest of their curves melting, Jini leaking on Haewon’s knee, then her digits hovering down her abs, into her heat—

“Haewon, Haewon, I love you!”

#

The debut is approaching rapidly, like an unstoppable train, days filled with dancing, recording, dancing, shootings, dancing—most nights, Jini just falls asleep the second she meets her bed. Luckily, Haewon is still there, together they fight through the tough times, share a secret relationship, until Haewon has to stay longer for extra meetings and other stuff. 

“Being a leader is hard,” she says and kisses Jini’s forehead before she heads out to yet another extra schedule. “I’ll see you later, babe.”

Jini stares at the ceiling, tired yet unable to use the four hours she has to sleep properly. She misses Haewon, her touch, the shared intimacy. It’s the one thing that has carried her through the rough trainee and group building process, to lose it now is unimaginable to her. Maybe the best times are already past the two of them, maybe the homophobic culture surrounding them will have their love suppressed to the bare minimum, absolute secrecy, where Jini has to ask herself:

Is this really love?

Haewon returns earlier than Jini expected, out of breath, face equally exhausted and worried. Jini lifts her blanket and Haewon slips right next to her, wordlessly, only deep breaths leaving her lips. This is very much not the Haewon Jini is used to, no amount of training has her this quiet.

“Is everything okay, love?” Jini carefully asks, hands on Haewon’s soft, beautiful cheeks. “I’m here if you want to talk. I’m also here if you just want to sleep.”

“Can you bring me the tequila?” Haewon whispers defeatedly and Jini hurries to get the bottle and two shot glasses. In the faint moonlight falling through the window behind her bed, she fills the glasses and hands one to Haewon, who immediately downs it, followed by a loud, exaggerated sigh.

“Tequila?” Jini asks with a small smile. “That bad?”

“It goes down so easily, easier than—” Haewon stops and reaches for Jini’s glass. Another shot of tequila goes down her throat in a blaze of fire. “Jini, I-I think we need to… put our relationship on hold.”

Jini sinks to the floor in front of her bed, in front of Haewon who looks down to her with sad, glistening eyes, though Jini feels already a lot closer to crying. Before it can happen however, Haewon guides the bottle to her girlfriend's lips, and the colorless, burning liquid makes Jini jerk up. Tequila stains her cheek, chin, Haewon’s t-shirt she stole out of her drawer last night.

“Careful, you’re spilling it everywhere,” Haewon cackles quietly, as if she doesn’t mean it.

“Haewon, why? I love you, I need you, please don’t break up with me,” Jini cries out but Haewon just goes for her chin and licks the liquor off of it. Jini calms down with a soft moan, while Haewon starts to hum and kiss all over her face.

“We are not breaking up. It’s just that… we won’t have any privacy. They will restructure the dorm rooms and the rest of the time, we’ll be learning choreographies. I just want to be honest with you—we won’t have any time, but I still love you, Jini.”

“A-and what if we tell them about us and ask them to give us our own room?”

A pained sick laugh leaves Haewon’s lips and she avoids looking at Jini, not able to bear those anxious eyes. Instead she focuses on pulling her onto the bed and getting a hand underneath the t-shirt.

“Don’t be silly, Jini. They will never accept us. They can never know about us, not even Lily. I don’t want them to hurt you.”

“I-I’m not scared of them,” Jini whines, while Haewon has her shirtless already. “I’m scared of losing you.”

“Don’t worry about that, baby, let’s just enjoy tonight.” Haewon’s tongue dances with Jini’s, not in the rhythm of their song for the millionth time, but lazily, sloppily. If there was a dance teacher, they’d complain about the execution, but Jini only cares that this tongue is there and makes her feel warm and wet. 

“Touch me, Haewon, please.” Jini’s voice cracks during that moan as Haewon gladly flicks past her clit and fingers the dripping sex below.

“You too, Jini, put them on me. I love your smooth skin here I could—rub it forever.”

Jini gives it her all, always making sure to be spotless down there, which is quite the struggle in between all the schedules. But it’s the way Haewon likes it, Jini has never seen her with any hair down there. And so her fingers brush past the flawlessly shaven skin to the bundle that makes Haewon take deeper breaths—

—draws moans from her, loud and glorious, like her singing voice. The fingers dance, on the outside, then inside, back and forth, always careful. For the first time in a while, Jini feels her body relax, even as it twists and jerks at Haewon’s thrusting fingers and nipple-sucking lips. 

“Jini, you’re so sexy.” Haewon’s voice is deep and Jini can’t remember when they got completely naked and moved to the couch, but she doesn’t care. More important is Haewon’s pretty pink pussy on her face as she sits on it. Jini eagerly gets her tongue inside while she feels Haewon’s gaze admire her midriff, her thighs, her sex that is—

“You’re dripping~” Haewon moans.

“You too, Unnie.” Jini can’t get enough of that addictive taste. She’d love for her mouth to be filled with it; to make Haewon cum messily has always been her goal. Up until now, it’s been amazing but not yet the way she imagined it. She will have to work harder, while her Unnie rubs up and down her clit.

“You’re about to cum again, I can feel it. Your hips are jerking up.”

“Just because your hands are so good, Unnie~”

Jini can feel Haewon smile against her crotch, those lips kiss right above her slit, never the way she does it, but it’s enough. Jini’s eyes tear up for the second time this night and with the flick of her tongue, Haewon makes her scream.

“Unnie, Unnie, I’m—”

Jini’s hips lose all their tension when her orgasm subsides and she falls into the cushions. In her blissful state, she forgets her duty to eat Haewon out, so the elder just chuckles and rubs her cunt on her nose. She will do so until the deed is finished and Jini can only admire her beautiful, stunningly hot and talented lover throw her head back in pleasure.

“Ji-Jini, I love you.”

“I love you too, Unnie.”

#

Jini has been warned, but no warning would have been sufficient for the absolute lack of touch, of intimacy, of love that was about to come in the following months. All there was was training, dancing until your legs fall off, singing until your ears are ringing—then came the posing for cameras. 

The idol life she has always dreamed of finally started. It’s been a tough road, now she is living her dream, a dream filled with the painful reminder that she truly has to sacrifice everything. From a normal childhood to freetime to all kinds of relationships.

She knew about the last part, but it’s a different kind of sacrifice. If you can never find a person to love, you don’t know what you’re missing. However, if the person you love is right there and the only interaction you have is a bad quickie on the toilet, the pain will sting and remind her forever.

About that quickie, it was hasty, a dumb decision that wasn’t even a decision. Haewon had forgotten to close the door and Jini came bursting in because she needed time away from everyone, it was all too loud and if she had to listen to ‘Tank’ one more time—

They both just locked the door and locked lips. Haewon sat back down and pulled down the shorts of Jini’s stage outfit. It was all spontaneous, so Jini wasn’t properly shaven and Haewon did nothing to hide her visible disgust. However, she didn’t say anything and so Jini rode her thighs, admiring that beautiful face that still had a glint of hope for their relationship in her eyes. A tiny glint that Haewon did not try to uphold.

Other than that, she did not cum, neither did Haewon, and they both wordlessly left. No ‘I love you’ or a goodbye kiss—no one could suspect a thing. On this day, Jini’s heart started to break properly. She let it happen until a final surge had her bursting into Haewon’s and Sullyoon’s shared room.

“Haewon-unnie, we need to talk.”

“Oh my God, Jini, you scared me!” 

Haewon slams the laptop in front of her shut. The entire room is filled in darkness, except for a faint light in the tiny, corner bathroom. Jini is in her haze, induced by alcohol, induced by sadness, but mostly induced by the desperate desire to get back to Haewon, back to her lover. She just walks over and wraps an arm around the leader's waist. 

Unlike the beautiful times before, Jini is pushed away by a cold hand, stiff and it feels so heartless. She can’t see Haewon’s face but she knows it must have the same coldness. Is there anything left? Any heat from their past love that could move her an inch?

“I-I missed you,” Jini whimpers.

“Sullyoon is right there, you can’t just—”

“What is—” A sleepy Sullyoon stands in the door frame, a yawn interrupts her words and she blinds everyone by finding the light switch with her hand. “—happening here? Jini, what are you doing here?”

“I—I…”

“She was looking, no, bringing me something,” Haewon interjects and grabs Jini’s wrist. “I’ll come back in a second. Sorry for waking you up, Sully.” 

Sullyoon’s eyes switch from one girl to the other before she weakly nods and moves back into the bathroom. The moment the door closes, Haewon drags Jini out of the room and the two find a quiet corner somewhere in the endless corridors of a mostly empty, dimly lit dormitory.

“Jini, what the fuck?” Haewon growls angrily and her eyes punch holes into Jini’s heart—her words follow quickly. She must not be thinking how much it hurts. “You can’t just do this, what will they think? Don’t touch me like that, not in public!”

“I-it was just a hug, everyone hugs in public.”

“But you do it differently. They will see, and they cannot—”

“Why?” Now Jini shouts and tears stream and fists fly against the next wall. “Why, why, why? I don’t care what they think! They can know it, they can hate us—fuck, Haewon, I just want you, I love you!”

“Jini you—this will kill our careers.”

“I don’t care.”

“You.” Haewon holds her mouth in shock. She steps back, her hand no longer on Jini’s wrist. “You can’t be serious.” 

The shift in her eyes is beyond eerie. No horror film could ever encapsulate how scary this is. To see the person you love, your lover, turn from sadness to anger—away from everything Jini knew and loved—to poison. Words cannot reach her any longer, whatever Jini says will be held against her, it will all blow up. Even the L-word, it is powerless.

Nothing can be salvaged. But Jini will only realize this later.

“I am, I lo—”

“You just want to fuck me, is it that? Jini, you don’t give a fuck about my career, what I worked for, huh? You just want to have sex with me, and everyone can know it—you disgust me.”

“No, what, Haewon that’s—”

“Stop it, stop saying my name! You, I don’t want to hear it!”

Haewon reaches for Jini’s shirt—no, this is not one of Jini’s shirts. It’s the final Haewon-shirt she holds dear to her heart. The only remnants of their intimacy, hidden deep in her closet. She only wears it every now and then and now, in what is the nightmare of her life.

“That’s how you play, you take everything. My love, my career, my fucking t-shirts.” Haewon pulls at the hem. Jini fights back at first but with every tug she feels all power leave her body. But once again, it’s Haewon’s eyes and her poisonous words that kill her spirit. “You are such a piece of shit, Jini. To think I ever loved you.”

“What?”

“Give it back, give me back my youth, my love!”

“B-but Haewon, I love you, really!”

“Never say that again. You just played with my heart!”

The t-shirt is in Haewon’s hands, a couple of strings and tatters falling off of it. Jini falls to her knees in between them, only dressed in her bra and some pathetic gray sweatpants that quickly darken as her tears fall onto them. Haewon scoffs, her face puffy and angry. She is about to cry as ugly as Jini is, but this endless anger keeps her from doing it now. 

For a few seconds, she just stands there breathing, looking at the salty rivers running down Jini’s face. They are no crocodile tears, genuine, absolutely real—but she dismisses it all and faces away from her former girlfriend.

“We had nothing,” Haewon whispers and walks away. “I wish I’d never met you.”

And Jini cries the entire night.

#

The only thing paler than Jini’s face is the wall behind her manager. Jini has been fixated on it ever since she entered the office room. It’s like she can look right through it, see what could have been—the prosperous idol career she always dreamed of, fun group activities, a successful love life in secrecy. 

The disbelief in her manager’s eyes is like a mirror that suddenly reflects the truth back to her. Jini’s dream is a lie and now she has to face it, face to face with a livid man who has his palms on the desk. He can make the floor shake.

“You, you can’t be serious!”

“I am!” That shout was easy on her lips, easier than it should have been, with a heavy, racing heart, Jini stands up. She won’t back down to him, she will get her way out of here. “I don’t want to stay here for another day, I—”

“What the fuck, Jini!” In his rage, Jini’s manager stomps to the wall and smashes a small picture, its frame crashing down to the floor in a thousand sharp pieces. Now the wall is even paler and Jini can see that her real future might as well be an immovable object she is running straight into, head first, blood all over her—

“I will leave,” Jini proclaims, loud and unmistakable through the choleric pants of her enraged manager. “Or else I’ll let the world know what happens in this company.”

“Shut up.” A pained laugh as he looks down at the mess of colorful splinters and a now worthless picture. “You’re bluffing.”

“Oh yeah? I know at least half a dozen staff members who are a bit too fond of the trainees. Those helpless, naive, young little boys and girls.” Jini steps closer; he is now the palest in the room, both the light and the wall are no match. “That’s why I picked you. You did no such things. You just looked away, like we all did.”

“Jini, you stupid—”

“Stop defending them, for fucks sake.”

Every muscle in Jini’s body is filled with tension. She could really use some release, more than mere screams. A punching bag, some crazy rapid workout or maybe just a few drinks to knock her out. It’s the opposite for her manager, who lifelessly flops onto his chair and looks like he’d vomit at the next movement. Jini has never seen him cry and this might be the moment he does without actually showing tears.

“I—I can’t, this is my dream job, my future, my life.”

“It was mine too. Dreams die, so let me leave.”

“Why now? I just got this position and you’re going to ruin my chances of ever getting back.”

The manager starts to sob, though he cannot admit it. Jini feels sick to the stomach, while her anger does not fade. When he turns around, she just imagines the blank face of Haewon and her venomous words. She can argue against that all night, all day until it frees her of this hell hole.

“I’ve looked away for too long,” Jini proclaims and reaches for her coat. “If you don’t have anything to say, I’m leaving. Don’t try to stop me or else.”

“You’re cruel, Jini, I don’t want to see your face ever again.”

“Good.” She opens the door. On the other end of the long hallway are her former members, waddling to their next practice session or photo shooting or music show. Whatever. Luckily, she can only see their backs, each of them a bit exposed, sweaty—then there is Haewon, her hand on Sullyoon’s back, a bit too intimate. “You won’t even hear from me, I’m basically dead.”

#

“Hey, it’s me.” Jini is about to ignore and delete the voicemail, but this is from a person that actually cares about her. “I heard what happened. Look, I dunno why it happened or if you are feeling good or bad about it—I’m just your idiot brother after all—but I know just the place you might need right now. I’ll send you the address. Don’t worry, it’s girls only. From what I heard, they are very popular amongst your kind. I really hope you’re doing fine.”

Jini cracks a weak smile. She hasn’t left her apartment in days, only reaching out to very specific friends to tell them about what happened,  her decision to leave the company. Actually, no one knows about her break up, the relationship with Haewon. It was all a well-kept secret not even her best friends knew about. 

As for her brother, he is the only one in her family who knows about her sexuality. The rest would most likely not accept her, hell, her father hasn’t really talked to her ever since she became a trainee. Jini’s life has developed far away from her family, especially her other relatives. Hearing her brother's voice feels like a relief with the bitter aftertaste of loneliness. Lonely, like the tiny apartment room she now lives in. 

Maybe it’s time for her to go out again. One night of nothing but drinking and mindless flirting, regretting it all the next day—and then it’s time for her to look forward. She can’t stay in this apartment, this state of sorrow and grief forever. Before this new found feeling of ‘fuck it all’ can go away, she puts on her prettiest dress and a tiny bit of make-up. Luckily, the bar is not too far away.

“If you promise to visit me, I might pay for a few of your drinks ;-P” Send by Idiot Brother

Jini’s second smile is already a lot stronger.

#

To Jini’s shock, she does not find a small and cozy lesbian bar with a couple of hot, single girls. The place is fucking huge, probably the biggest in all of Korea. There is a constant influx of women, usually in pairs and groups, standing together, talking, drinking, partying. The noisiness, paired with the all black and rough looking interior makes Jini quickly order and down her first cocktail. Something, something tequila. When she watches couple after couple make out all around her, she grabs her second one. Something, something vodka.

“Hey, do I know you?” the bartender asks her, voice firm and concerned.

“Nah, it’s my first time here,” Jini responds and shakes her head. A terrible idea. She can feel the alcohol flooding her head and already doing its thing. Soon, she’ll lose control—and gradually forget about the Haewon-shaped hole in her heart.

“Oh, I didn’t mean from here.” The bartender leans forward, towards Jini. She stares at the former idol, clearly unsure about something. “Maybe from the news or something?”

“Not possible, I’m not—famous.

“C-can I get another one? A Daiquiri?”

“Sure, gimme a second.” The bartender walks to the other end of the bar.

Jini’s heart starts to race. For a second, she was famous. An idol of JYP Entertainment, of course that is enough for people to recognize her. Leaving the group does not evaporate her fame. Clearly the bartender must have seen some posters or news about her. How could she forget about something like that? What’s going to happen now? Can she really go unrecognized through this night?

Suddenly, someone grabs her arm. Jini would shriek, but the liquor is already slowing her reaction time down.

“You shouldn’t be here,” a serious voice from behind her says. Jini turns towards the woman, but a mask covers her face. The uncovered eyes however look very familiar. 

“D-do I know you?” Jini asks and hopes that the bartender returns. She does not. Crap.

“There is a different area for people like us. Quick, before someone recognizes you!” 

Jini’s arm is in the firm grasp of this stranger who drags her through the bar without a care for the other partying woman. Jini tries to apologize, but the liquor already weighs her tongue down and so she is quietly staggering behind her kidnapper. An inconspicuous door later and the two are in a lot quieter area with multiple security people scanning them. 

“It’s safer here, trust me,” the woman says and removes her mask. Jini needs a second and a good shake of her head to realize who just pulled her out of the bar into—another bar.

“A-aren’t you… Kang Seulgi? The Seulgi!?”

“Sorry for not introducing myself.” Seulgi scratches her head and then combs her slightly sweaty hair back. “But it was necessary. You can’t run around like this when you’re literally—”

“Huh, is this dress too revealing?” Jini interrupts, her voice drowsy, a bit unhinged. She tries to pull down the hem of her dress before Seulgi grabs her shoulders and shakes her entire body.

“Girl, you are the top news story of today! Everyone knows you, everyone who gives a tiny fuck about our genre thinks about you. This was the worst day to just show up at the biggest lesbian bar in all of Seoul. If anyone saw you—did anyone see you?”

Jini tries to think real hard, a finger pressed to her lips, forehead in wrinkles. She does not notice how she sways from one foot to the other, dangerously close to just slumping  backwards, then forwards. Seulgi gently puts a hand to her back and guides her towards a corner with neat tables and cute chairs.

“Th-Thank you,” Jini whispers and tries to keep eye contact with the older idol. Her beauty and the fact that she is right there, a genuinely concerned look on her bear-like features has a bigger effect on Jini than any of the first drinks she’s had. “Sorry, I’m a bit… tipsy. B-but maybe, the bartender. She might have recognized me, maybe.”

Seulgi sighs in relief. “Okay, if it’s just one of them there is no need to be concerned. If you believe it or not, it’s not the first time a gay idol icon has just walked into a regular bar—it’s a miracle that they haven’t been in the news before.”

“S-so you’re saying that there are more idols l-like us? Wait, are you into g-girls too, Seulgi?!”

Seulgi raises an eyebrow and leans back on her chair. A black, leather jacket, at least a size too big, hangs down her shoulders. Beneath it is a loose crop top that exposes her insanely attractive midriff. To finish it off, her tight black pants are pulled high above her waist and hint at, almost teasing a navel. Seulgi is stunning, definitely made for the girls, as they say. “Don’t tell me that this is a surprise to you? What’s next? Exy or Eunseo suddenly like men?”

Jini’s eyes open wide. Before she becomes incoherent however, she falls back down to earth, her face buried in her hands. Of course there are more lesbian and gay idols, hell, she has been in a relationship with one of them. This reminder of Haewon has set things in motion. Melancholy spreads in Jini’s mind and it is only a soft hand on her head that distracts her.

“Hey, sorry about that.” Seulgi smiles softly. “I remember being a baby gay too, visiting this bar for the first time and being surprised at how many girls are like me. I promise, the longer you stay here, the more often you come here, the easier it will be to accept and understand things.”

Jini lazily looks around. She notices idols and other famous people, namely actresses and athletes sitting everywhere in this cozy bar. The music is a lot quieter, so the screams and dancing from next door are clearly audible. If she is honest, none of the people she recognizes truly shocks her. They were all already ‘probably not straight’ in her head, in her reality.

“It’s not even about that,” Jini suddenly begins to explain. “Like, I of course kinda knew you were into women, that’s why me and many others admired you. You showed us that it’s possible, even if we can’t be fully open about it. No, it’s because you all remind me of… her, and it hurts like hell.”

Seulgi’s orbs widen a bit and she starts to caress Jini’s hand. “Do you want to tell me what happened? Or should I get us some drinks and we just get black out drunk and forget everything, all our worries?”

“How about both?” Jini asks with a weak smile and Seulgi reciprocates it. She quickly skips over to the bar where the bartender is swift at preparing two colorful cocktails. Jini has no idea what it is she is sipping, but it tastes good and does the job. No reason for her to care.

“So, feel free to tell me,” Seulgi says and takes a huge first swing from her drink. “As much as you want, as much as you need.”

“It’s all just shit. A whole lot of shit.” Another sip. The drink is growing on Jini, or maybe it’s the fact that she is suddenly scared to talk about it. If only Seulgi, the older one, the clearly more experienced girl would make the first step. 

“Losing your career?” Seulgi suddenly asks, somewhat mindlessly, and Jini feels her heart drop, ache, break while she somehow cracks a smile from somewhere.

“That and the way it happened. But I can’t go back. It hurts so much.”

“Oh, that sounds like I can relate,” Seulgi says, then scoffs as her hand reaches over the table to pull Jini’s cocktail glass down. “Slow down, babe, or you’ll drown in it.”

Jini blushes, almost drops her drink and spits out the rest. That word, the nice b-word, shouldn’t roll off of her tongue so easily. Seulgi is so nonchalant and sexy about it, seeming to not mind flattering the young girl while also clearly enjoying it. To make matters better, she puts her hand atop Jini’s and starts her own story with a smile.

“I had this thought of quitting multiple times. Everytime we fight, she makes me feel like I’m not good enough—only her stress reliever. It’s like she just sees me as a sex toy. Hell, I don’t mind if the entire world just sees me as a body—but from her, I want more. Worst of all, she knows it and still flip-flops. I wish I could just stop loving her or find the courage to quit, but I simply… can’t.”

“Who,” Jini gulps. “Who are you talking about?”

Seulgi shakes her head and locks eyes with Jini. The sudden seriousness and fierceness overwhelms the younger girl. It’s like Seulgi looks right through her, as if her head is made out of glass and every memory of Haewon is replaying like a 4k movie. The truth is sucked right out of Jini as the thought about her ex-girlfriend loving her intimately starts to hurt like daggers in her soul.

“You have a girlfriend too, huh? Gorgeous, hot, your whole obsession—and very toxic at the same time.”

“I-I… I had. We broke up. I ran away. I couldn’t stand what she said to me. But I still love her, I want her more than ever.”

Jini drops her head to the table, hand firmly around the glass. She tries to squeeze it, crush it, like it’s that last remnant of yearning for Haewon inside her heart. But the glass slips and she spills the rest of the ice cold drink over her dress. A frustrated gasp from her.

“Oh God, you can’t be serious…”

“Looks like he is serious,” Seulgi jokes with clenched teeth as she gets up and kneels next to Jini. With some paper towels, she tries to dry off Jini’s dress as best as she can, but the stain looks like it will stay for the rest of the night.

“Don’t sweat it,” Jini says, flustered again. “I think after this night, it’s not going to be the only stain. And also, I really do not care if I smell of alcohol after tonight.”

“So you really do plan on getting drunk.”

“So drunk that I’ll forget about both of our toxic relationships,” Jini responds with a smile. Before she can raise her hand to order another drink, Seulgi dashes away and returns almost instantly with two red cocktails.

“These are super sweet, with vodka. I bet you’ll love the taste and suddenly—bliss will hit you like a train.” Seulgi starts to drink first as if she was talking to herself. Thus ends the heavy chatter and light fun begins. Both girls crack jokes left and right and fill the bar with louder and louder noises. Laughter, laughter everywhere until they are kindly asked to move ‘upstairs’. Jini has no idea what’s ‘upstairs’, but she simply follows Seulgi who helps her up a hidden staircase behind the bars. The older girl is giggling like crazy, while Jini is confused about all the secrets in this mysterious bar. 

“Where are we even… going,” Jini mumbles, complains, then laughs again as her head gets dizzy from the short exercise. 

“Just some private room for private things,” Seulgi lewdly giggles and presses herself against Jini’s back as the door to a simple hostel room opens. Simple in design and layout, simple in lighting as there is only the faint moonlight illuminating the interior. Jini’s unfocused, unbothered eyes fall onto a bed and suddenly, she falls onto the bed as well. Seulgi must have guided her through the room, the door closed for privacy, and now they are entangled on the bed.

“Private things?” Jini asks sheepishly and looks back at Seulgi. The way the full moon reflects off of her pale skin and those wonderful, dreamy, drunk eyes suddenly erases the stinging pain deeply stuck in her heart. Jini never believed in miracles, but she just found hope, peace and love in her hopeless state of mind.

“Oh, you know, like talking about more serious matters,” Seulgi ponders, her tone drastically sarcastic as she drags a finger from Jini’s thigh over her curves up to her chin. “Or not talking at all~”

“B-but I think it’s very important to-to talk, before, uhm.” Jini tries her best. She fights against her drunkness, her dazzled mind and relaxed body. Although they all urge her to go on and just kiss the girl spooning her, holding her waist and her chin, Jini does not want to rush it. She stops before her lips meet Seulgi’s and her glassy eyes tell the older woman that the uncertainty is real. It can even trump the enhanced state of drunkenness they are both in.

“Then tell me, oh pretty girl, what important things do you want to talk about? I’ll try my best, but I’m really wasted, like I won’t comprehend your question properly, probably, prolally.”

Jini pouts and holds onto that smooth arm that secures her body to Seulgi’s. She can feel the amazing shape Seulgi is in. Trained, strong even, a nice bust and incredible hips. No, they are all urging her to just lose it. Jini wants to lose to the booze and the smell of Seulgi’s lips and very faint, but mind-melting perfume—but for now, she resists.

“I—I don’t want to stop! I want to sing and dance and be an idol and—shit, this won’t stop me. But I’m scared, because I’m gay. I’m gay and they are not. Sorry they can’t relate—but I know they won’t even tolerate it. I-I can’t even have an open, truthful job interview because of it!”

Jini’s ramble is stopped by Seulgi releasing a deep, somewhat unhinged sigh. It’s as if she couldn’t hide her frustration any longer. At first, Jini thinks she screwed up and just lost a night of (most likely) great sex. However, Seulgi, after a short stint of eye contact with the ceiling, locks eyes with Jini again. This time, she looks fierce, more determined than Jini has ever seen before.

“I know you, I can relate. I felt very similar. But all these ‘can’t’ and ‘won’t’ will never get you anywhere. It might not look like it, but there are cool people out there. They don’t care about who you like. They can manage your career around that, give you the necessary freedoms and can even hire good producers fairly often. There is a way around all the shit, believe me.”

“I want to believe,” Jini mewls and slams her fist into the bed and it creaks. “But for that, such a person not only had to exist but also have enough money to run a company or something; and fuck, it’s like only assholes run the biggest businesses.”

Seulgi rolls her eyes and laughs. “If only there was an experienced idol nearby that could help you to find such a person. But what do I know? I’m just a drunk lesbian talking to some rookie who’s like eight years younger than me.”

“Ten, actually,” Jini responds with a pout, but she quickly laughs when Seulgi’s drunk brain actually gets a small, shocked expression to form on that gorgeous, moonlit face. “Ten years that I don’t mind.”

“It’s still quite a lot, damn.” Seulgi bites her lip. Suddenly, Jini feels like she is even closer with the Red Velvet member. Maybe it’s because they are facing each other now, quick breaths touching the other, hands on the other's body. Maybe it’s because Seulgi reaches for Jini’d chin again and tilts her towards her lips in a way that is nonchalant and deadly. The temptation is too great.

“You know you’re an icon for younger idols—in fact many girls in and out of the closet? They wouldn’t mind this age gap; neither do I.”

“Oh yeah?” Seulgi asks, more sure of herself now as she presses her lips onto Jini’s and momentarily shuts the other girl down. For a few seconds after the disconnect, Jini is still mentally paralyzed and doesn’t realize that her hands are tugging at Seulgi’s clothes in an attempt to get rid of them. “I’ve heard they like me, but to be this crazy for someone ten years older? I think that’s just you—and all that booze is helping a lot.”

“C-can we still fuck?” Jini bluntly asks in a daze.

“Hm, sure. Let me show you something~”

Seulgi drops her jacket. It glides off her arms and Jini’s gaze follows it before Seulgi directs it back at her. The older girl is on top, her arms next to Jini’s head as she leans down for another kiss. This time, it’s passionate, a rapid attack of lips on lips and tongue on tongue. A bit too fast, a bit too violent, but actually just right for Jini. She wouldn’t want it any other way. This is so unlike Haewon, so surreal in fact that it’s more comparable to a wet dream than any masturbation or pornography. 

Seulgi is absurd, the way she controls the kiss and presses her body on top of Jini’s. Instinctively, the younger girl tries to wrap her arms and legs around the one attacking her mouth, but Seulgi has different plans. She gently pushes Jini’s limbs away and makes sure she can lay in between her legs. At first Jini pouts, but then she feels what Seulgi wants to show her.

It’s akin to a dance. Seulgi’s hands roam from the top of Jini’s brown dress, along her arms and sides over her hips to the hem. In the meantime, the lips disconnect and draw a line of kisses down the dress, making sure to pay attention to all the stains of vodka, gin and rum. Jini knows where those lips will end up and the thought alone is sending her into a frenzy.

“How is this?” Seulgi asks, her cheek resting on Jini’s abdomen, her fingers playing with the hem of that dress, already carefully pushing it up her thighs. 

“F-fantastic, oh God,” Jini groans and takes a deep breath when she looks down her body into Seulgi’s dazed eyes. Although Jini knows it’s just a reflection of moon light, nothing too special, it genuinely looks like Seulgi’s eyes are glowing on their own. A soft, cold light that sends a shiver down Jini’s spine—a shiver that is suddenly across her entire body when Seulgi’s mouth disappears behind that pulled up dress. “Y-yes, right there!”

A tongue on her thong, expertly finding the aroused nub below. Seulgi is clearly no stranger to this, which is emphasized by her not stopping. Her actions are nonstop. A twirl here, a strong lick there. Fluid motions from start to finish and Jini is tweaking, wetting her already arousal-stained thong with more of her fresh juice to the point she can’t keep eye contact anymore.

“Look at me, babe,” Seulgi commands softly, and Jini stands at attention. Somehow she keeps her upper body upright on her arms, but it’s all unstable, trembling. “I want you to go all out. Don’t hold back. Wrap your thighs around my head, pull my hair if you need you. I want you to cum on and on and on.”

“S-Seulgi, I—I’m not shaven, I—”

“Like I care.”

Too late and all over. Seulgi has a finger on the weakest spot, pulling aside that thin garment and leaving Jini exposed. Seulgi does not wait. Her tongue caresses the aching core and Jini presses it onto her face with a shriek. She is a moaning mess and she wants to be even louder. Seulgi knows and so she fiddles her clit, licks that cunt, goes all out until Jini is screaming profanities.

“Fuck, yes, lick me, fuck! Seulgi, eat my pussy, yes!”

A suck on her clit and Jini wraps her legs around Seulgi’s head. The older girl is delighted that her prophecy became true and continues. It’s like she has never done anything else in her life. Her girlfriend must truly be a lucky bitch, Jini thinks and tries to curse at this unknown person—but all her curses are those of pleasure. Pleasure, just pleasure. No more Haewon, no more JYP, just Seulgi eating her out until she is silly.

“I’m so close, you’re getting me close, I can’t—”

Jini pulls at Seulgi’s messy hair in an attempt to hold out a little bit longer. However, it’s all for nought. Not a single second longer. Jini explodes and floods Seulgi’s tastebuds with her runny nectar. Her head falls backwards into a pillow. 

“Oh, we are not yet finished,” Seulgi laughs. Her voice is horny, a little bit crazy and very much drunk. She grabs both Jini’s waist and her back and pulls her up. Suddenly, the young woman finds herself seated on Seulgi’s thigh at the edge of the bed. “I need to see your face more. I want to hear you cum again, baby.”

“Ah, if-if you call me that, I—” Jini blushes. She can barely catch her breath with her face covered in her hands. Seulgi, however, continues. It’s for the best. It’s for Jini’s pleasure. She gets rocked back and forth on Seulgi’s thigh, her dripping core stimulated once more.

“Now I want to call you it more,” Seulgi whispers, one hand on Jini’s hips, the other trying to cup the idol’s face. “My baby. Cum on me. Forget about everything and just love me hard for tonight. I want you loud, cum so fucking loud that the neighbours start to complain.”

“I might, I might,” Jini moans and throws an arm around Seulgi’s shoulder. The two share an intimate gaze before Seulgi’s lips crash down on Jini’s chin. Another exposed weak spot that sends Jini spiraling into an abyss of more and more pleasure. She is falling, but not from Seulgi’s thigh. The older girl makes sure of that. 

Soon Jini is riding on her own, wetting those black jeans. She finds it a bit sad that Seulgi gives her everything but she can’t seem to give her pleasure back. In an attempt to change this, Jini tries to sneak a hand into the top of Seulgi’s jeans after opening the button. At first successful, then futile. It urges Seulgi on more. She plants her fingers on Jini’s clit and rubs her in circles. 

“Oh, fuck, Seul-gi!”

The tempo is slow but perfect. The timing is immaculate and Jini becomes a fountain. She squirts out her second orgasm all over Seulgi’s crotch, drenches her clothes and the edge of the bed in her girl cum, all while her voice finds new levels of volume. The bed shakes, the ceiling shakes, Jini’s world shakes as her orgasm washes everything away. Before the concoction of alcohol and orgasmic pleasure can push her into a blissful slumber, Seulgi kisses her with a giggle.

“After you wake up, you better get rid of my pants before using your fingers, babe~”

#

“Hello, it’s nice to meet you. You must be Miss Choi? Miss Kang told me a lot about you.” 

“The pleasure is all mine, but please, just call me Jini. I’ve always been called by my stage name.”

“I’d love to do that. How about we sit down and you just tell me a little bit about yourself? I know that this organization has, rightfully so, put a lot of trust into your abilities. I personally value the recommendation of Miss Kang a lot, but I’d like you to tell me more, if you don’t mind?”

“I don’t mind at all. I think that my personal manager should know what they are getting into. I wouldn’t want to surprise you with something.”

“Wwe are on the same page then. Excellent.”

“It might sound a bit odd, but I think I should start off by saying that I, uhm, like girls and have a… very vibrant life when it comes to relationships and… yeah.”

“Oh, I can’t say this surprises me.”

“Uhm, what?”

“Well, I know Miss Kang has certain tendencies when it comes to this. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind and I don’t care. As long as I know everything I need to know to manage around certain things, you are free to do whatever you like.”

“R-really?”

“Yeah, sure. It’s my job as your manager to support and protect you.” 

“You have no idea how much this means to me!”

You scratch the back of your head. The beautifully dressed girl in front of you smiles from one ear to the other, lyrics sheet in one hand, in the other the freshly signed contract. You don’t know why, but you surely seemed to have made her smile. So smile back. 

“You’re welcome, I guess?”

[a-jar-of-beetles]

Cloudward ho headcanons that I have no basis for

Pilby doctors and nurses have special training for if they encounter the MacLeods

Daisuke is godfather to several coyotes

Mama Gotch had a torrid love affair with Marya

Wealwell is amazing at go fish but mediocre at poker

Olethra has written self-insert fanfiction about the crew

Monty volunteers at a pigeon rescue

Van and Bert both have lots of secret admirers

Kočka comes from a long line of circus rats and Marya has no idea

Hatwell actually has an interest in haberdashery but keeps it secret because he finds it embarrassing

Van is quite skilled at calligraphy

The MacLeod family has resistances to most poisons

Maxwell would force Wealwell to play with him because Johnwell would hide from him

Daisuke journals and scrapbooks

Bert struggles with baking

Artemisia MacLeod is excellent at crochet

Blanewell and Roywell are in a bookclub together

Monty has officiated dog weddings

[probablyasocialecologist]

Both Biden and Netanyahu know what they dare not say in public: On a military level, things are not going well. Israel, a nuclear-armed nation state with modern weapons systems and intelligence capabilities and fully backed by the most powerful nation on Earth, is desperately struggling to achieve a meaningful tactical victory over the armed Palestinian guerrilla forces in Gaza. Despite the vast resources Israel has dedicated to its propaganda effort, it is also flailing in its effort to defeat Hamas on that front. On a daily, sometimes hourly, basis, the Qassam Brigades, Hamas’s military wing, and their allies in arms release videos showing successful attacks on Israeli armored vehicles and troop positions. The short films offer a glimpse into another side of this war, the one that Israel and the U.S. do not want the public to see. And the picture that emerges stands in stark contrast to the official Israeli narrative. Fighters from Hamas and Palestinian Islamic Jihad are engaged in urban combat and close-quarters firefights with Israeli forces, and they are inflicting heavy losses on them. They have also published a close-up video of Israeli soldiers in a makeshift tent camp inside Gaza that Hamas fighters filmed by discreetly popping up from tunnel hatches.

[...]

There is no doubt that both Washington and Tel Aviv underestimated the military capacity of the Hamas-led armed resistance. It is one thing to snatch Palestinians off the streets of the West Bank and disappear them into a military court system, a practice Israel has perfected over the decades. It is quite another to defeat a well-armed insurgency that has spent decades building vast underground infrastructure beneath its own territory and training for this very moment.

[would-this-pokemon-be-a-friend]

Would teddiursa be a good pet? I know ursaring isn’t but what if I just never evolve the dude.

Love this guy I got a plush of him for Christmas I named Honey Bun

Finally, after a streak of mixed bags, we have a resounding yes! A teddiursa would make a great, if sticky, pet, so long as you are aware of their needs.

These little critters are the perfect size to be a house pet, and their care is pretty straightforward. They don’t seem to have particular habitation needs, so with the right diet and enrichment activities they will be happy and healthy. It’s important to note that these pokémon are natural food hoarders; in the wild, teddiursas create large food stores in their multiple hiding places to prepare for the scarcity of winter (Silver). Don’t be concerned if your pet does this, even if you don’t (hopefully) anticipate there being a shortage of food for them in the winter. Despite their bear-like autumnal food hoarding, there isn’t any indication that this species hibernates in the winter.

Wild teddiursas’ diets are made up almost entirely of honey. They acquire this honey by two means. The first is by scavenging it from combee hives (Scarlet). More often, however, teddiursas actually make their own honey using various types of fruit and pollen collected by beedrills (Ruby/Sapphire, Emerald). not only is honey a pretty easy food to come by at a store to feed your teddiursa, this honey-crafting behavior presents an excellent enrichment activity for your new furry friend. While keeping beedrills may be a bit more of a handful to keep (a serious understatement, if you read the beedrill post linked at the bottom of this post), their pollen can be bought from beedrill keepers or, most likely, in pokémon pet supply stores, so it would be pretty straightforward to provide your teddiursa with the supplies they need to make their own honey. Who knows, they may even want to share it with you!

The only major drawback that I can find when it comes to teddiursas is their sticky paws. These pokémon use their paws to scoop up honey, making them curiously sweet (Crystal), and almost certainly sticky as all get out. You will have to get used to either cleaning your teddiursa’s paws or your furniture on a pretty constant basis. It is important not to prevent your teddiursa from licking their paws, as this behavior isn’t just for eating normally, it’s a self-soothing behavior (Violet).

You may be able to tell from looking at them, but teddiursas aren’t all that dangerous. The only move that concerns me is Lick, which has a chance of causing paralysis. As long as you train your buddy to keep their tongue to themself, scratches from their little claws are all you have to worry about. The detriment of Lick is offset in teddirusa’s score by the lovely move Rest, which allows them to fully restore their health with a nap. That will seriously cut down on vet bills, as any injuries or illnesses can be sorted out with some simple snoozing.

As long as you don’t mind sticky paws, teddiursas would make great pets. These soft and cuddly friends just wanna make and eat honey: fulfill that need, and you’ve got a friend for life. Just… uh… use an everstone, okay? See the link for the ursaring post below.

The Beedrill post: https://www.tumblr.com/would-this-pokemon-be-a-friend/729625466905018368/would-a-beedrill-be-a-good-pet?source=share

The Ursaring post: https://www.tumblr.com/would-this-pokemon-be-a-friend/735608723612090368/would-an-ursaring-be-a-good-pet?source=share

[mus1g4]

FRANKLIN COUNTY JAIL (FCJ)

Announcing the 2024-2025 Winter Session

We are thrilled to announce that there WILL be a winter season at FCJ this year.

The registrations will be limited to 3 inmates per session with 2 inmates the minimum to hold the event. If a 4th inmate is wishing to register, it will require special permission and on a case by case basis.

You will be required to make the first day's payment ($400) as a deposit. (If you have questions about fees, refunds, cancelations, etc send me a private message)

The dates for the sessions are as follows:

November 22, 23, and 24

December 6, 7, and 8

February 21, 22, and 23

March 21, 22, and 23

April 11, 12 and 13

If you are interested in specific themes (military brig, chain gang, 1950s, supermax, death row etc) feel free to send me a message.

***We are always looking to train new guard volunteers at FCJ. Winter Sessions are an excellent time to try guarding and learn our routines. Not everyone is cut out to be a guard, and we will be honest with you if things aren't working.

We provide a guard uniform, food, and sleeping accommodation while you are here. There is obviously no fee to be a guard. Travel is at your expense.

If you are interested, message me.

[donamori]

Please indulge me to speak at length about Don Quixote (post Warp Express Intervello)

Unfortunately, this will be riddled with spoilers, however, I'm not necessarily making this post to make any real predictions. I'm mostly just collecting my thoughts, crafting some theories, and talking at length about my thoughts on the upcoming canto, their possible themes, and to gush and wail about my most favoritest sinner ever. If you've finished Murder on the Warp Train then feel free to continue

Alright, end of the most recent Intervello, it was revealed (much to my surprise at least) that Don Quixote, our pride and joy and ever most excellent knight-errant, is in fact a Bloodfiend. A bloodfiend who apparently has their true form suppressed by Rocinante, the shoes Don wears that are named after the steed Don Quixote rides upon in the book.

This new reveal has millions of possibilities forming in my head for the upcoming Canto and here's the gist of what I've kind of formed and gathered from what we know so far in the world of Limbus and Project Moon as a whole, what I personally know about Miguel De Cervantes and his works, and the general thematic ties that are now unfurling within my noggin that I'm trying to spool together in this nice little indulgent post.

Let's start with Miguel De Cervantes:

For those who may not know, Cervantes is the author of Don Quixote, born in 1547, died in 1616. A few important tidbits that I think will be important in the upcoming Canto-

Something that has been known for awhile is that Don's battle sprite does not list her name as Don Quixote but as Miguel. For awhile now I had been wondering if within Don Quixote's Canto we are going to receive some sort of reveal that Don Quixote is actually Miguel De Cervantes. Originally the basis of this theory I had was a quote from Cervantes about how "[he] would not exist without Don Quixote." (Something that was expanded upon in a lecture about Cervantes and Don Quixote that I found on youtube). In fact a large portion of that lecture, which I will link here, contributed to this idea I had built up in my head about the relationship between Miguel and Don.

What this essentially culminates to in my mind is that the Bloodfiend will reveal that they are Miguel, but for some reason or another, they "became" Don Quixote. So, in many loose adaptions of Don Quixote, this connection is typically made. In my personal favorite adaption, The Man of La Mancha, a musical about the book, they present the story of Don Quixote as a play for prisoners after Miguel Cervantes himself is arrested. And who is the man that plays Don? None other than Cervantes himself!

(you should really give it a watch, it's a lovely musical)

Now, within the book of Don Quixote itself, our titular hero sadly perishes at the end. He loses to the Knight of the Mirror (who is actually the Bachelor Sanson Carrasco, a man hired by Don's family to bring him home) and returns home. He then dies in his bed after renouncing the name of Don Quixote and all of his adventures. Saying with much seriousness that he is not Don Quixote, but Alonso Quijana. He leaves money to Sancho and his estate to his niece and then soon passes (after a heartfelt appeal from Sancho to return to adventuring together once more.)

After his death, the book ends with the author who is detailing Don Quixote's history writing this final paragraph-

"For me alone was Don Quixote born, and I for him; it was his to act, mine to write; we two together make but one, notwithstanding and in spite of that pretended Tordesillesque writer who has ventured or would venture with his great, coarse, ill-trimmed ostrich quill to write the achievements of my valiant knight... And I shall remain satisfied, and proud to have been the first who has ever enjoyed the fruit of his writings as fully as he could desire; for my desire has been no other than to deliver over to the detestation of mankind the false and foolish tales of the books of chivalry, which, thanks to that of my true Don Quixote, are even now tottering, and doubtless doomed to fall for ever. Farewell.”

I've paraphrased it a bit, but you get the gist. While the author detailing Don Quixote's history is a fictional author made up by Cervantes, I believe it is a cheeky way of Cervantes to insert himself in the story and express his true feelings here.

Now, with Cervantes and Donqui being one and the same I believe the strong thematic thread tying this all together is one of dreams. It's now known to us this whole time that Don Quixote is in fact, both dream and dreamer. The monster that Don Quixote is sleeps while they allow for their true self to live, ever dreaming. But now that Dream is Ending.

I think we're going to see the 'death' of Don Quixote and some sort of joining of Miguel and Don. I think Miguel wants to keep dreaming. They are a bloodfiend, a horrible monster, one of the more powerful beings that are mentioned in Project Moon's games. But i think that Miguel doesn't want that. I think that Miguel wants to be cured. Something that has never really been done for a bloodfiend, an impossible dream, perhaps?

I think in Don's Canto we're going to see what we see within the book. Miguel/Don's family trying to get him to come back, to stop him, to get him to give up on this silly dream of Knight-Errantry. And I believe Dante will finally be able to help Miguel take the first steps towards realizing this impossible dream.

Some small little thoughts that I've had that i think push this a bit further.

Don Quixote was written by Miguel when he was 50 while he was in prison.

I've been wondering now whether this cell we see Donqui in within her base ego was actually some sort of representation of this. Don Quixote was born while Miguel was locked away. This looming shadow of Rocinante keeping the Sangre De Sancho locked away within this small starry-eyed girl <3

Nothing that I really have any like, evidence for, but based on vibes I think representing the specific sort of Spaniard from this time period as some sort of high class vampire is excellent and really fits thematically as well.

Cervantes has a bunch of quotes about the nature of oneself and death (bloodfiends are undead). Some that I think are quite fitting are :

“A Man Without Honor is Worse than Dead.”

“Take my advice and live for a long, long time. Because the maddest thing a man can do in this life is to let himself die.”

“I know who I am and who I may be, if I choose.”

“When life itself seems lunatic, who knows where madness lies? Perhaps to be too practical is madness. To surrender dreams — this may be madness. Too much sanity may be madness — and maddest of all: to see life as it is, and not as it should be!”

and finally, to conclude this,

“All I know is that while I’m asleep, I’m never afraid, and I have no hopes, no struggles, no glories — and bless the man who invented sleep, a cloak over all human thought, food that drives away hunger, water that banishes thirst, fire that heats up cold, chill that moderates passion, and, finally, universal currency with which all things can be bought, weight and balance that brings the shepherd and the king, the fool and the wise, to the same level. There’s only one bad thing about sleep, as far as I’ve ever heard, and that is that it resembles death, since there’s very little difference between a sleeping man and a corpse.”

If you read this whole thing, thank you for indulging me. I greatly appreciate it.

[astroismypassion]

✨PART OF FORTUNE IN SIGNS AND HOUSES SERIES: 6TH HOUSE✨

Credit goes to astrology blog @astroismypassion

ARIES PART OF FORTUNE IN THE 6TH HOUSE

You feel the most abundant when you have Aries and Virgo Sun people in your life. You could make money via fitness training, personal training, firefighting, law enforcement, emergency healthcare services, competitive sports, trading, stockbroking, automotive repair, mechanics, tech startups. You feel abundant when you come up with new, fresh ideas.

TAURUS PART OF FORTUNE IN THE 6TH HOUSE

You feel the most abundant when you have Taurus and Virgo Sun people in your life. You could make money via offering a service connected with pet sitting, tutoring or helping people to organise their kitchen, fridge, storage. You may also clean offices or make work environment more beautiful (for example putting on pictures, cleaning the computer). You feel the most abundant when you are stable on a daily basis and know what to expect from your daily schedule and when your work ethic, work relations are stable and grounded.

GEMINI PART OF FORTUNE IN THE 6TH HOUSE

You feel the most abundant when you have Gemini and Virgo Sun people in your life. You could make money via freelance journalism, you can write for newspapers, magazines, online publications. You can have abundance via starting a podcast or YouTube channel. You may offer translation, interpretation or language teaching services if you are multilingual. You feel abundant when you organise a networking event or a conference even. You could also blog about your profession or teach people about what is it that your job entails.

CANCER PART OF FORTUNE IN THE 6TH HOUSE

You feel the most abundant when you have Cancer and Virgo Sun people in your life. You could make money via blogging about topics related to home, family and well-being. You may start a blog or write for publications that focus on these areas. You would be an excellent planner! Planning and organising family-oriented events, such as weddings, birthday parties or even community gatherings in your local town. You could also offer pet sitting, dog walking or even start a pet grooming service.

LEO PART OF FORTUNE IN THE 6TH HOUSE

You feel the most abundant when you have Leo and Virgo Sun people in your life. You could make money via voice acting or doing voice-over work for commercials, animations or audiobooks. You will find fulfilment, joy, success and wealth in activities that promote mental and physical wellness. You might make organic make up or creams. You feel the most abundant when you incorporate hobbies, interests and passion into your daily life. You could also be a health advocate.

VIRGO PART OF FORTUNE IN THE 6TH HOUSE

You feel the most abundant when you have Virgo Sun people in your life. You could make money via starting your own online store selling products related to your interests connected to books, tech gadgets or dietetics/nutrition. You can set up a shop on Shopify or Etsy. You experience wealth by providing consulting services in your area of expertise. You may be a travel blogger or write travel articles, but more so on a local level, maybe also connected with short-distance travel.

LIBRA PART OF FORTUNE IN THE 6TH HOUSE

You feel the most abundant when you have Libra and Virgo Sun people in your life. You could make money via providing recipes for lunches for working people, like easy DIY ideas. You may also create meal plans for school children. You can create wealth by selling prints, stock photos or offering photography services.

SCORPIO PART OF FORTUNE IN THE 6TH HOUSE

You feel the most abundant when you have Scorpio and Virgo Sun people in your life. You could make money via working in alternative medicine or wellness, becoming a financial advisor or running your own cleaning business or provide services for neighbours or in your local town. You can offer cleaning or yard work services to neighbours or in your local community.

SAGITTARIUS PART OF FORTUNE IN THE 6TH HOUSE

You feel the most abundant when you have Sagittarius and Virgo Sun people in your life. You could make money via working in non-profits, via wellness coaching, physical therapy, working in educational institutions, hospitality industry, tour guiding, working for airlines, travel blogging, working in media, especially related to educational content, travel, running a small business that involves sharing knowledge or providing specialized services.

CAPRICORN PART OF FORTUNE IN THE 6TH HOUSE

You feel the most abundant when you have Capricorn and Virgo Sun people in your life. You could make money via farming, gardening, manual labor and agriculture, management, administration, working with your hands, project management, quality control and research. You definitely need to ask for a promotion.

AQUARIUS PART OF FORTUNE IN THE 6TH HOUSE

You feel the most abundant when you have Aquarius and Virgo Sun people in your life. You could make money via information technology, software development, working with cutting-edge technologies, via astronomy or astrology, via social enterprise, digital marketing, advocacy work, activism and community organizing, via renewable energy, sustainable development or green technologies.

PISCES PART OF FORTUNE IN THE 6TH HOUSE

You feel the most abundant when you have Pisces and Virgo Sun people in your life. You make money via tarot, healing, holistic medicine, work with elderly people or at a hotel. You could find success in making jewellery, specializing in anklets. You feel acquire wealth through counselling, psychotherapy, psychology, nursing, holistic therapies (like reiki or acupuncture), teaching meditation, drama/music therapy or dance/movement therapy, caregiving, hospice work, starting a creative arts studio, a holistic wellness center or socially conscious business.

Credit goes to astrology blog @astroismypassion

[icemavschild]

Where The Wild Things Heal [Part 2] » Floydsin

Summary: Jake had done an excellent job concealing his and Bob’s history, but a well timed (or maybe calculated) run in, in the hangar forces the two to talk.

Pairings: Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x Robert ‘Bob’ Floyd,, Floydsin

Warnings: Angst,, 18+ bc all my work is unfit for minors

A/N: like I said, next chapters is after the dagger mission

Tags: @chaosofmanyfandoms

ONE MONTH POST DAGGER MISSION

The hangar was nearly empty.

Night had draped itself over the base, thick and quiet, with only the hum of the floodlights cutting through the silence. Rows of jets stood like sentinels in the shadows-sleek, still and waiting. Jake Seresin stood beside one of them, resting a hand on the cool metal of the wing. His other hand clenched a rag he wasn't using anymore. He just needed something to hold onto.

He wasn't supposed to be here this late. But then again, neither was the weight sitting heavy in his chest.

It had been a month since the Dagger Mission. A month since they'd all been reassigned together- Top Gun's Golden Squad, now some kind of elite special operations team. They trained, briefed, debriefed, flew. Then they drank at the Hard Deck like nothing had changed.

Except for Jake, everything had.

Because he was back.

Robert Floyd- Bob to everyone else- was back in his life like a ghost in broad daylight. Only he wasn't the same. Now he was steady, calm, the voice of reason in the room. Smart. Quiet. Respectful. The kind of guy people listened to.

And Jake couldn't fucking stand it.

Because he remembered. All of it.

Footsteps echoed in the hangar. Jake didn't need to look. He already knew who it was.

"Hangman."

The voice was low, almost careful.

"Not on duty, Robert. Try using my actual name."

Silence for a moment and then:

"You've been avoiding me."

Jake let out a sharp laugh, no humour, just irritation.

"Really? I thought you were doing the same." Jake said, "worked out great!"

"I wasn't," Robert replied. "Not really."

Jake turned slowly, leaning against the jet with folded arms. He kept his expression flat, but his eyes were sharp, cutting.

"What do you want?"

Robert met his gaze, calm but not cold.

"To talk. Just you and me."

Jake's smile twisted at the edges. "And now you want to talk?" His response was cold. "After a month of pretending we didn't know each other. After a decade of pretending I didn't exist unless you had a fist to put in my ribs?"

Robert's mouth tightened. "I deserved that."

"You deserve a hell of a lot more."

"I know."

Jake pushed off the plane, taking a step forward, his voice rising. "Do you? Do you really know what it's like to see your old high school bully standing next to you in a flight suit, acting like we're teammates, like you didn't beat the shit out of me on a regular basis?!"

Robert stayed still, but his jaw clenched.

"You don't get to rewrite this," Jake snapped. "You don't get to erase the bruises, split lips, the days I faked being sick so I wouldn't have to see you in the halls. The weeks I had to lie to my parents about why i couldn't lift my arm, or why my eye was black."

Robert looked away, chest rising and falling.

Jake stepped closer, venom in his voice now. "You know what pisses me off the most? It's you." He gestured up and down Robert's body. "This version of you. Quiet, polite. Polite little Bob that gets perfect scores and keeps his temper in check. Everyone thinks you're harmless. But I remember."

Robert's voice was raw when it came: "So do I."

Jake ignored him. "I remember the guy who smelled like gasoline and cigarettes. Who smiled after he shoved me into a locker. Who made it a goddamn hobby to humiliate me whenever he could. You were terrifying, Robert. And now you're what? Enlightened?"

"I've never stopped being ashamed." Robert said through a clenched jaw.

Jake looked away, jaw clenched so tight it hurt. His heart was hammering in his chest, the pain from those memories fresh and hot like it had never left.

"You broke me," he said, barely more than a whisper. "And now you're back and you've got discipline and good grades and a clean conscience? You sit there in briefings like a goddamn saint while I'm still picking up the pieces."

Robert looked like he'd been slapped.

"I don't expect forgiveness," he said, "And I don't deserve it. But I needed to say something, I couldn't keep pretending I didn't wreck something important."

Jake stared at him, eyes full of fire and exhaustion. "You didn't wreck something. You wrecked me. And I don't know if I can look at you and not see the kid that used to throw punches like it was a joke."

"I know," Robert whispered, "but I'm not that kid anymore."

Jake didn't respond. Not really. He stayed where he was as Robert turned and walked away, footsteps echoing against the hangar walls.

The silence that followed felt both empty and too full. Jake pressed a hand to the side of the jet, grounding himself. He didn't know if he'd ever forgive Robert.

But for the first time, he'd seen the ghost flinch.

And somehow, that was almost enough.

[jasntodds]

Penance [7]

Pairing: Jason Todd x Fem!Powered!Reader

Words: 8,230

Chapter Warnings: Swearing, fluff, mentions of death, hurt/comfort, mentions of scars, small description of jason's autopsy scar, smut, 18+ mdni

Summary: ❝Thesus: Stop. Give me your hand. I am your friend. Herakles: I fear to stain your clothes with blood. Thesus: Stain them. I don’t care.❞

It’s been a month and a half since Crane’s reign of terror was stopped, leaving Gotham to finally return to normal. But, what is normal? After everything Jason and you have been through, it seems normal might be some unobtainable dream state. But that’s not going to stop either of you from trying and maybe, you’ll get lucky in the end. At the end of it, the two of you have suffered enough, right?

Right?

A/N: It was my birthday a few weeks ago and 2 days later I was in the ER with a bad kidney infection so that's why this is late lol I'm sorry!! lol You can add yourself to the tag list below, ask me to be tagged, or you can follow my library blog @jasntoddslibrary  and turn on notifications if you prefer that!! I love feedback, I swear it keeps me posting on a weekly basis 😭

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Jason and you patrol together and it feels like old times. You work well together just as you always have and it’s something the both of you really needed. Patrolling with Tim was different because you had to and you couldn’t really do it how you were used to because it was about training Tim and showing him the ropes. But this? This is like it always was, fighting side by side, teaming up and taking turns interrogating people. You stop at Excellent Gotham halfway through and park yourselves by Jason’s favorite gargoyle to eat.

You think tonight is healing parts of you. You felt hopeless before and now you're sitting here with your favorite person as if nothing has really changed. Maybe you don’t need to punish yourself all of the time and maybe this can be good. Maybe you can let yourself heal from everything. If Jason can, don’t you deserve to try?

“Wasn’t too boring tonight, was it?” Jason quips, the both of you back in your street clothes as you stand outside of your apartment building, Jason having rode home with you to make sure you got home safe.

“Eh.” You shrug. “It was alright I guess.” You scrunch your nose at him.

“Alright?!” Jason scoffs. “Bullshit. I’m a fucking trip.”

“You’re something.” You let out a cackle and Jason is relieved to see you look so happy. You looked lost earlier. “Can I ask you something?” You ask.

“What’s up?” Jason shifts his weight to his left leg, resting the helmet on his hip.

“When do you go see Leslie again?” You look down, tugging your sleeves over your hands before your eyes come up to Jason's.

Jason's brows raise slightly before he shrugs. “Uh…few days, why?”

“Can you, uh, a-ask her if she…ya know…maybe I need…to go.”

Jason nods his head with a warm smile. “Yeah, I’ll ask her and give her your number.”

“Thanks, Jay.” You give him a small and shy smile.

“Of course.” Jason smiles softly. “Hate fucking admitting it, but it’s been helping a bit again.”

“Good. I, uh, that’s why I wanna go. Might be for the best.”

“Good. Can’t hurt.” Jason nods his head.

“Yeah.” You smile softly. “Well, I’m gonna head in but thanks for tonight.”

“Do it again?” The corner of Jason's tugs into a hopeful smirk.

“Hell yeah.” You laugh softly. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” You beam before spinning on your heels and entering the apartment building.

A smile is stretched across your face as you make your way up the three flights of stairs to your apartment. No part of you believes going to see Leslie is going to be easy but if she’s helping Jason who literally died, surely she can help you. And it feels really good to finally feel like you and Jason might be falling back into some sort of normal after everything.

You enter your apartment, pressing your back against the door as it shuts behind you. The TV is playing quietly from the living room, the rest of the apartment is dark. You're so stuck on how well the night went, you almost miss the sound of Molly’s voice coming from your living room.

“Molly?” You question, pushing off the door and walking the few feet into the kitchen, looking into the living room thanks to the open concept layout.

Molly is leaning against the arm of the couch holding her phone against her thighs. A wide smile splits her face as Jurassic Park is playing on the TV. Molly is still rambling on about the first time she saw the movie, completely ignoring your presence. You roll your eyes and walk over to the back of the couch, looking at her phone screen.

“Hey.” Gar chimes.

Molly jumps. “When did you get back?” Molly ask.

“Just now?” You question. “Hey, Gar?” Your brows furrow, looking between the two of them.

Nothing going on, sure.

Molly looks at the time on her phone. “Did it go okay? You’re not mad are you?” Molly questions.

“What happened?” Gar asks.

You look between the two of them and maybe nothing is going on but from where you're standing, it definitely looks like it. You aren't even upset about it, but if something is going on, you think it's weird and confusing neither one of them would just say something but you aren't going to push. It's not really your business or your place. So, you decide, you're not even gonna say anything. You'll sit back and see what happens with them.

“Nothing?” You shake your head. “We patrolled together, grabbed some food, and came back.” You shrug your shoulders. “So, I’m gonna shower and head to bed.” You reach over the couch and steal a handful of popcorn from Molly’s bowl. You glance to the TV, watching the water in the cup on the dash of the Jeep start to vibrate. “You guys are missing the best part.” You state as you start walking away. “Get it together, guys.” You make your voice cheery, making sure they know you're joking and you can hear Molly laugh quietly as you enter your room.

You grab your change of clothes before heading to the bathroom and hopping in the shower. Music plays through the bathroom until it's interrupted by a ding from a text. You peek out of the shower just in time to see your phone screen still on with Jason’s contact on your screen. He’s texted you a quick ‘made it home’. You smile to yourself and continue washing your hair while your phone chimes again. This time when you look over, it’s a second text from Jason telling you you should just meet him at his place around noon and you can go to Home Depot together. You roll your eyes but your smile is glued to your lips while you finish your shower.

You take a seat on the toilet seat with a towel draped around your body. You pick up your phone while your stomach bubbles and twists.

You: What? Don’t trust my driving?

Jaybird: No ☠️

You: Fuck you 🔪

Jaybird: I’m really shaking in my boots babe

You: You suck

Jaybird: 🤤

You: 🤮

Jaybird: 🖕

You: Ill see you tomorrow I do like to be chauffeured around

Jaybird: How many times did it take autocorrect to get that word right?

Your jaw drops before you burst out laughing. He’s such an asshole but it did take more than a few tries to get that damn word right and he would know.

You: I will walk over to your apartment and fucking stab you so fucking help me jason todd

Jaybird: You’d have to catch me first babe

You: That a dare?

Jaybird: I dare you

You: Okay

You toss your phone and immediately start getting dressed in sweats. You don’t bother with makeup or anything else. You get the bathroom tidied up before you exit the bathroom, phone in hand before you go for your backpack. Molly is still peaking over the couch on her Facetime call with Gar.

“What’re you doing?” Molly asks.

“Going to stab Jason.” You answer casually while Molly looks to her phone at Gar.

“She’s doing what?”

“He dared me, Gar!” You yell but Molly and Gar can tell by the airiness in your voice it's really not that serious.

“He dared you to stab him?” Molly asks, unsure if she really heard you correctly or if she really wants to any sort of context.

You widen your eyes at her, nodding your head quickly. “Yeah! And I’m not gonna back down. It’s a dare.” You scoff with the furrow of your brows.

“Were they always this weird?” Molly asks Gar.

“Hey!” You yell.

“Yes.” Gar answers with a nod.

“Okay, I’ll be back!” You call with a smile as you kick your shoes on and head out, locking the three locks on your way out.

Jason prepares for you to get there, knowing you take dares seriously. He unlocks the door and shuts every light off in the place. If you want to come for him, he’s not going to make it easy. That ruins the game. It’s silly and he knows but at this point, he doesn’t want to miss even a single opportunity with you. Yes, he shouldn't have wasted a month and a half and neither should you but he’s thinking maybe that was for the best. It did give you both space to start to healing. It gave you both space to start setting up your own lives and finding out who you are today. It seems to have helped and there’s nothing saying you can’t continue while trying to get back what you once had. Optimism is not something that ever came easy to Jason Todd but he’s letting himself feel optimistic about you for just a second.

You pull up to Jason's place, seeing it’s completely dark. At first, it almost scares you, thinking maybe something happened and this is a trap. That would be something that could happen. But, that thought fades quickly because you don’t have that pit in your stomach and Jason would never have played along with anything to endanger you. This is Jason being a shit.

You dig in your bag and pull out your phone, using the flashlight as you enter the building, keeping light on your toes.

“Finally.” Jason's voice rings through the speaker system. “Usual rules?”

This was something you did at the Manor when Bruce was out. You blacked out the entire house, the only light would come from the moon outside. Other than that, it was just you two and a black house trying to locate each other. The only rules were not to permanently injure the other one -- don’t shove each other down the stairs and no lethal weapons. First person to disarm the other wins.

“You’re on, Jay.” You call as you shut your flashlight off, pocketing your phone.

You have your hands at your sides as they start to warm and glow a vibrant shade of green. Your steps are careful, using the glow to guide your feet. Back at the manor, you didn’t even need the light from your hands at one point. You had the whole place memorized from doing this with Jason which did kind of defeat some of the purpose of the blacking out the building but it served enough purpose. Plus, there are more stakes. It has the same premise as Dick’s whole thing with the blindfolds but this is more fun.

Jason is positioned at the end of the hall, carefully listening. He can see the glow of your hands which he said was cheating at first, until he realized he can also find you. He doesn’t need the glowing but it’s definitely not a bad thing to have on his end. So, he stands against the wall, watching and listening to you walk closer. His eyes track you, knowing you’ll search the full hallway before attempting the stairs. A part of him wants to dodge around you and essentially play a weird game of hide and seek but instead, he keeps his feet planted. The idea is to disarm, not to find.

Your hands stop glowing the further down the hallway you get. Jason's brows furrow, still listening to your footsteps. They echo softly no matter how light on your feet you try to be. If you know anything, it’s that Jason likes to play games. He’s going to make finding him easy the first time because that’s the point. And then you’ll have to spar it out until one of you backs off and runs off. He’s done this before so you keep walking with soft feet until you reach the end of the hallway. Jason is like a radiator. He could heat up an entire room if left there long enough so as you stand right in front of him, you can feel the space between you growing warmer.

You strike first, just missing his head as Jason grabs your arm. He spins you around as you kick your leg around his, sending you both to the ground. Jason falls on top of you, barely catching his weight on his hands to not crush you and you don’t miss a beat, crawling from under him only for Jason to grab your ankle and yank you back. Jason hears your laugh through a squeal.

“That’s a fucking ego boost.” Jason laughs with you.

“You’re not scary, sorry, Jay.” You tease, yanking your ankle free.

“Lotta people'd beg to differ." Jason defends as he hears you run off down the hallway.

“Not to me!” You sing-song, your voice echoing off the walls and staircase.

A smile stretches across Jason’s face as he shakes his head. He starts walking after you, not hearing your footsteps anymore and he knows you've hidden yourself behind some sort of corner so he’s careful with his steps.

A large part of him thought the good parts of him died and the pit kept them. It kept them in exchange for his life, maybe that’s just the price he was to pay in order to live. Someone can’t come back to life without sacrificing something. Look at Ra’s. But, over the last few days, he’s learning that may not have been in the case.

His bones still ache and something still feels hauntingly different but the good parts of him are still there. Tim didn’t even blink when Jason showed up in the alley, he was so unbothered by all of Jason’s training methods that even got you to pitch a fit every once in a while. Jason had a good time training Tim and him and you are back to doing this stupid game in the middle of the night with laughter bouncing off of the walls. He’s smiled more the last few days than he has in two months. Maybe the good parts of him aren’t entirely gone. They were just covered in guilt and remorse.

You're tucked away in a corner and you always wonder how Jason manages to be so silent as he walks. You can be quiet but you can’t even tell when he’s moving until it’s almost too late. It’s for his own protection, he’s been doing this longer, but it’s always fascinating to you and it'd be a little scary if you didn't know him. One second he’s down the hall and the next, he’s standing in front of you without ever making a sound. It’s his most intimidating quality.

But you're careful anyway, listening, focusing on your surroundings and then the hairs stand up on the back of your neck with a subtle throb starting to your right. You dodge just as Jason's fist flies through the air and you grab his arm, elbowing the inside of his arm. Jason lets out a groan and you twist it around before Jason laughs.

“It’s cute you think you still stand a chance.”

“I’ve taken you before.” You quip, holding his arm behind his back.

“You’re out of practice.” Jason chuckles, pulling his arm away before he spins back around, going to grab you but you jump back.

“So are you.” You quip.

“You sure?” Jason asks making you nearly scream. He’s right in front of you now and you didn’t feel him that time. His breath is fanning over your face and without needing to see him, you can tell he’s smirking, cheeks probably that pretty shade of pink.

“Uh-huh.” Your voice catches in your throat.

“Right.” Jason gives you this chuckle that makes you want to kiss the smirk off of his face but you know you can’t very well do that now so instead, you make your move.

You quickly slide to the right before kicking his feet from under him. Jason lands on a knee and he swipes his leg across the floor, knocking you down just as you try to run off. It’s Jason’s turn to get to his feet and find a new spot.

The two of you go back and forth like this and it’s different this time. Usually, you spar hard and you both make solid efforts to disarm the other but this time, you’re spending a lot of time hiding and running. It wasn’t so much intentional at first from either of you but the more you do it, the more you realize this is just more time to spend together. Tomorrow comes eventually and tomorrow always has some sort of surprise in it. Tonight, you don’t wanna worry about that. You spend your time in the dark, finding each other and going back forth with fists and quips.

Two hours in, Jason is hiding out on the landing of the first staircase, tucked away in the corner. The window is two feet away from him, the city lights cascading through the pains and onto the wood flooring. His eyes stay trained in front of him, hearing you from downstairs walking around. You've been looking for a few minutes and Jason is wondering if you’ll give up. And then he hears a smack and a groan from down the stairs. Jason has to stifle his own laugh, far nicer than you who burst out laughing when Jason hit the doorframe. You seem to recover okay, your steps picking up a few seconds later and he can hear you ascending the staircase.

Your steps stop right at the top.

You roll your eyes and you know damn well Jason is right behind the light of the window. He’ll be able to see you before you can see him. And if you know anything about him, you know he’s standing right in the corner, right foot lifted and pressed against the wall with his arms crossed and that stupid smirk on his lips. This game was never very fair from your perspective. You've never won. Jason’s senses have always been better, Bruce trained him well. As much as you hate the thought. You let out a sigh, take two steps forward and stand directly in the light, a taunt telling Jason to get it over with.

Jason pushes off the wall with his right foot and makes his move but he’s cautious. You do not give up, especially to him when there’s a game like this in play. He strikes first, you block him in an instant, using the light to drag him from the shadows and you get him with your knee right in his side. Jason doesn’t even flinch, throwing another hit, this time hitting you on your side. The two go back and forth, breathing turning heavy as you use the city lights to your advantage. But, it’s Jason who gets the upper hand as he almost always does, grabbing both of your wrists as you use one to try to punch him and the other to block his hands. His grip is tight and unwavering.

Jason’s chest is nearly touching yours as you look up at him. There’s a devious gleam you can make out even in the low light, the corners of his mouth perked into a subtle smirk. Your heart jumps into your throat.

“Giving up so quick?” Jason questions.

“No.” You let out a soft pout but you aren’t fighting him.

Jason can feel his heartbeat on his tongue. His grip loosens on your wrists but he doesn’t let go. Instead, his thumb rubs your skin softly, not even realizing he’s doing it. It’s been hours and he’s been having a blast and he knows she is, too. For the life of him, he can’t figure out why you both let time go by. He does know why, because it all hurt but maybe it was just getting over the hump of it all. He thinks it must be just as hard for you to overcome as it is for him. But, you both always seemed to be able to cope better around each other. It’s the understanding of every action and word that leaves your lips. The feeling that you’ll both never be alone.

Jason nods once. “Not trying very hard.” Jason whispers softly.

Last night felt so good and cathartic. Maybe you just want to live in another one of those moments for a few minutes.

“You’ll just tighten your grip.” You whisper back, watching a cheeky smirk grow on his lips.

“Doesn’t seem to bother you much.” Jason quips and his eyes glance to your lips.

What if he kisses you anyway? Just one more time. Then you can do this friend thing with the game and the banter. What if he kisses you anyway?

“No.” You answer back, glancing to his lips.

What if you kiss him? Just one more time and then you can do the whole friend like you did before. What if you kiss him?

“How’re you gonna get out of this then?” Jason quips.

Fuck it.

You lunge forward, your lips connecting with Jason’s. He groans and immediately drops your wrists as his hands come to your cheeks, pulling you closer to him. Jason melts right into you, nearly exploding at the seams with the very thought you were thinking the same thing he was.

His mouth moves with yours and you push forward until Jason’s back hits the wall. Jason grabs your hips, turning you both around so your back is pinned against the wall. He kisses down your neck, nipping and biting at the flesh. Your heartbeat skyrockets as your hand tangles into his messy hair. Your eyes are closed as a soft moan escapes your lips. Jason bites down, sucking a mark into your skin.

You pull his head back to your lips, the kiss turning sloppy and wet. Jason slides his hands under your thighs, picking you up to pin you against the wall as his knee slots into between your legs. His thigh hits just the right spot making you let out a moan into his mouth immediately followed by a groan.

You pull his hair back, getting a pretty groan from Jason before you go to his neck, leaving your own purple mark. Jason holds your hips helping you grind down against his thigh. The sound of your desperate gasps makes him want to lose his mind. He wants to surrender all control he has ever had and forget anything bad ever happened. His head is lust drunk and all he wants is you. His bulge is growing and throbbing through his sweatpants, desperately wanting free.

You feel yourself growing closer and wetter but more desperate. There’s not quite enough friction and he knows it. He knows this only ever gets you teetering on the edge but it’s never quite enough. He knows exactly what he’s doing and you want to bite him. Your pussy throbs and aches for something to fill you up.

“Jay.” You pant desperately into his mouth.

He fucking snickers.

And stills your hips.

“Jay.” Your brows pinch together as if you're in pain.

“What’s that?”Jason teases.

“Fuck. You.” You nod your head, trying to move your hips but his grip keeps you steady.

Jason leans forward, nipping up your neck making you whine. He can feel your pulse against his lips as he kisses his way up to your cheek. You feel him grin against your skin and you think your skin might set the both of you on fire.

“Say please.” Jason mocks you, whispering in your ear, his voice deep and graveled.

You think you've melted into the palms of his hands.

Jason loosens his grip slightly, allowing you to get some friction for just a few seconds before stilling your hips.

“Didn't hear ya, babe?” Jason’s eyes lock on yours with the quick raise of his brows, using all of his self-control not to cave himself.

There's a sliver of you that wants to push him, see who can actually outlast the other because you know it'll be him begging for you in about ten minutes. But, your head is swimming and your body is erupting in goosebumps. The desperation of wanting him all over you makes you lose every other thought that was once there.

You kiss him, keeping your lips close to his, pulling away just enough to speak. “Please.”

Jason doesn’t waste a single second to dropping his knee as his lips connect back with yours.

Jason pulls you with him, his back towards the second set of stairs as you both walk up them, unsteadily with your lips connected. Once you’re up the stairs, Jason is grabbing the hem of your hoodie, tugging it over you and tossing it on the floor. Jason’s hoodie is next, tossed somewhere in the dark hallway. By the time you reach Jason’s room, he’s tugging your top off and tossing it to the floor.

It’s all hasty and hot, desperate and needy as Jason pulls you to his bed. He lands on top of you, catching you to mind your fall and your hands are under his shirt. They’re warm and soft. They make him feel whole again.

The words ‘i need you’ circle his brain but never quite make it out. He needs you like he needs air. You're the breath of fresh air on the first day of spring. It’s the first day the air doesn’t hurt his lungs. You taste how the word cathartic sounds. He needs you like he needs the oxygen in his lungs.

You scratch up his back and Jason arches his back right into you. His head spins. His lips trail down to your cheek and then your neck. He leaves a second mark in his wake and your head falls fuzzy. You aren’t even entirely sure you're even here anymore. All you know is that you want him and your skin is on fire. You can’t form a single coherent thought as Jason makes his way down to your collarbone, leaving yet another mark. All you can think about his him. His mouth and his the way his teeth graze over your skin, how warm his hand is as it trails up to your breast. All you can think about is the pretty moans and groans that leave his lips as you claw his back again. You've turned to mush all over again.

He presses some kisses around where your braw cuts off, just enough to tease you before he comes back up, kissing your lips. And all you know for certain is how badly you need him. You need him today and tomorrow and every day after. Every moment with him is worth every bit of pain and agony. Every moment without him is boring and lackluster. Jason walks into a room and it’s like a color bomb explodes through the room. His laugh could light up the darkest of hallways and his eyes are the prettiest shade of green, they could convert anyway to love the color. Breathing is easier whenever he's around.

Your hands go to the hem of his shirt and try to tug it off of his head but Jason stops you, shooting up immediately. Your high immediately vanishes seeing the look of panic spread over his feature. Jason’s head comes back, still spinning but down in panic and his chest heaves. What’s he supposed to do?

“I-I’m sorry.” You shake your head, leaning up on your elbows. “I-, uh, I thought…well…I…I should have asked--”

“No.” Jason shakes his head, looking down then back to you. “It’s not…that.” Jason nearly chokes on his own words.

“What’s wrong, Jay?” Your brows tug together and even though you're the one half-naked, he’s the one feeling exposed.

Jason’s teeth grind together and he didn’t really think this far ahead. His mind was clouded with the thought of you and the desire to just have one more fucking night. His mind was clouded with the idea of chasing the feeling you shared just a few months ago. He didn’t think about this step. This part of the whole sex thing. You don’t care. You never care about scars but it hurts him.

Jason clears his throat as he brings his hands back to your hips, watching your chest quickly rise and fall with every breath. He's running through everything he could say. How is he supposed to tell you he has a thick, protruding scar from his collarbones all the way down his abdomen? That can't possibly be some sort of turn on and if anything, he's almost certain it'll send you into a spiral because it nearly does to him every damn day he looks at it. What's he supposed to say? What's he supposed to say without making you feel worse or feel like you need to push to make sure he's okay?

What's he supposed to say in order to keep this moment intact without it being just another moment tainted by painful memories?

“We can just keep doing this. Um…I-I don’t mind…if you don’t.” You try to pull in a breath. The guilt chews at your stomach. “I, uh, I don’t—“

“Y/n.” Jason cuts you off, not wanting you to spiral. “It's not that, I fucking swear.” Jason squeezes your hips and his brows twitch up with reassurance. He's just not sure if he's ready to reveal that part to you. It makes him feel guilty. He's supposed to be able to share everything with you but the shame eats at him. “I want to.” He clarifies, earning a nod from you. “It’s just…” His eyes go distant for a second before coming back to yours. “Stays on.”

You offer him a large nod and you thought it was odd he turned around before to change. Jason has never been very modest about anything ever. He has worked very hard for his chest and abs and he doesn’t mind showing off a bit, especially in front of you because he’s still a shithead. But, last night he didn’t and sitting here now, you're putting the pieces together while a piece of your heart breaks for him.

“I, uh…I know.” You nod softly, pushing yourself up to sit up fully.

Jason sits on his knees, his knees on either side of your legs.

You can't know.

“What?” Jason’s brows tug together.

“The night Crane kidnapped you, you, uh, you couldn’t get out of your gear so I had to help you.” You offer him a soft shrug. “So, uh…I just want you to know that I already know. It’s completely fine, I get it, but I wanted you to know that I already knew.”

Jason can feel his throat wanting to close and his world feels like it's closing in on him. It feels like a nightmare. He doesn't want you to know. It's embarrassing.

“You saw it?!” Jason’s voice cracks as his cheeks burn a vibrant red as he bites his own tongue to try and hide and his shame.

You nod again. “Yeah. You, uh, you were really high and I figured it would not be something you would want brought up.”

Jason shakes his head looking down. He feels tainted, ruined, a mess of broken and damaged pieces piled on the floor to be discarded and forgotten about. He's not even sure what's worse. The fact you knew and then never said anything or the fact he didn't even get a chance to make peace with it before he told you. He hates it so fucking much and it just makes him feel like the biggest failure there is. What more proof does anyone really need? He failed at being Robin, failed at taking down the Joker, failed at being a good son, failed at being a good boyfriend, he even failed at staying dead. It's just embarrassing and shameful.

You can see the gears in his head working overtime. He's going to spiral and the scar doesn't mean shit to you. Your entire back is riddled with them. Any one of those could have caused massive bleeding and killed you. The way you see it, his scars were better because most of them were just part of the job. He got them putting himself in danger for the greater good.

"I don't care, ya know?" You state with the raise of your brows and all Jason does is shake his head. "I don't fucking care about it, Jay. I know you do. Whatever the fuck you're thinking about it, you're wrong." You rest a hand on his cheek. "You don't have to take your shirt off around me if you don't want to. I get it."

"I fucking hate it." Jason states, taking your hand in his, his fingers delicate over your skin. He uses both hands to rub circles into your palm, massaging the muscles.

"For what it's worth," You let out a breath. "I don't. I don't care and I don't mind. That shit doesn't matter to me, Jay."

"I know." Jason nods his head because he knows you don't. It's something in his own head. It's just really difficult to move on from.

"So, whatever you wanna do, I don't mind." You offer him a tender smile.

Jason lets out a breath. “Thank you.” Jason says back. “Did you know? That Bruce had it done?”

“Yeah.” You pull in a breath, biting back your bitterness for Bruce. “He didn’t say why though I was screaming at him when I found out so he didn’t have much chance, I guess.”

Jason lets out a quiet but sad chuckle because even in death, you will fight tooth and nail for him. “You were screaming at him for it?”

“Well, yeah, I thought it was pointless. I figure it’s just legal reasons, maybe.” You shrug. “But I didn’t wanna hear it then.” You chuckle softly. “So, yeah, I uh, I knew he did and I knew the Pit didn’t take it away.”

It's something he's going to need to find a way to make terms with but at least, you're understanding about it. He wishes he had the opportunity to tell you himself but...he's thinking maybe this was easier. You've known and never batted an eye or said a word about it. Maybe he doesn't have to feel all that shame and embarrassment around you.

“White hair, kept all of my scars, and got the one my chest.” Jason lets out a scoff.

“Least it fixed your face.” You quip back with a cheeky smile in hopes it'll help cheer him up a bit.

You see the flash of something kind and cheeky cross over his face.

Jason drops your hand, leaning in. “What’s wrong with my face, huh?” The corner of his mouth perks into a grin and you always have a way to make him feel better about anything and everything.

Your name might as well be synonymous with catharsis.

“Did you want a list?” You raise with a smirk as you tilt your head to the right.

Jason lets out a laugh. “Fuck you.” Jason shakes his head at you and his eyes go to your lips before traveling back up to your eyes.

“Say please.” You lean in closer to him, brushing your nose against his.

Jason shakes his head, bursting at the seams with a devilish grin. His hand comes up to your cheek before he kisses you, pushing the both of you down to the bed.

“Please.” Jason nearly growls into your mouth.

Jason leans up and tugs his shirt off quickly before coming right back to your lips. Your hands tangle in his hair and give the strands a light tug. You push on his shoulder, signaling for him to roll over. You get on top before you trail down and press kisses to his cheek and then to his neck, leaving your second mark of the night.

The words ‘i love you’ bounce around Jason’s head like a pinball in a pinball machine. He’s so in love with you he thinks he might have lost all of his sanity. He did not know it was possible to feel so strongly for another person but he does. And he wants to live here forever. You make him better and he is so certain of that if not for everything that has happened but the reason that Jason doesn’t want to self-sabotage with you. It’s not worth it. You’ll fight and make up and it’ll have been for nothing. All it would do is hurt the both of you and haven’t you both been hurt enough?

You can feel Jason's hardening bulge beneath you. Without breaking the kiss, you slide your fingers into the waistband of his pants, helping him tug them down. Jason sits up, helping you get the rest of his clothes off before he flips the two of you so you're back on your back. You let out a laugh just as you always did and Jason thinks he'd never grow tired of it.

Your hands are in his hair and he can feel you smiling against his lips despite the haste of your kiss. Jason slides his hand under your back, undoing your bra before he helps you get off. His hand goes right to your right breast, pinching your nipple between his thumb and finger. You moan into his mouth as your head starts to go fuzzy all over again. You squirm under him and a grin comes to Jason's lips.

You snake your hand to his cock, wrapping your fingers around the shaft before you start pumping him slowly. Jason's mouth opens against you as his hips stutter for just a second. You start moving your arm faster and Jason's mouth trails back down to your neck. His teeth graze the skin and you think you'd let him mark every part of your body without ever putting a thought into it.

He sucks a mark into your neck.

And then another.

And another leading down the scar on your shoulder from the bullet wound.

He stops there, switching to a kiss and your stomach twists while your brain starts to turn to goo. He presses kisses back up to your lips and you're squirming under his touch as you can feel yourself growing wetter by the second. 

"Condom." You mutter against his lips before removing your hand from his cock, precum leaking from the tip.

Jason wastes no time in reaching for his nightstand to tug out a condom. You're already stripping the rest of your clothes by the time Jason has the package in his hand. 

Jason smirks down at you. "Not wasting any time, huh?"

You shrug, almost taunting him as you keep your eyes locked on his, careful not to look down at the scar. "Been a while."

Jason chuckles as heat runs over his neck. "Having withdrawal?"

"I could just do it myself." You quip back.

"Can I watch?" Jason questions and a part of you thinks he's serious.

You roll your eyes. "Maybe next time."

Jason has to clear his throat as his cock twitches with the remark. "Hold you to it." Jason mutters as he finally gets the wrapper open.

"Then I get to watch you."

Jason's eyes flash over to you as his stomach drops and spins. "Whatever you want, princess." Jason finally gets the condom on and you pull him back down to you.

His lips connect with yours, hot and fast at first, hungry as if he hasn't eaten in a month. His cock is lined up with your soaking pussy but the kiss slows and deepens. Jason's hand trails down your right thigh, delicate fingers running over your skin as goosebumps erupt over your body. You run a hand down his shoulder and to his arm, his bicep twitches under your touch.

Jason is warm and sturdy, an unwavering force that you find yourself so intertwined with, you really aren't sure how you've managed to live so much of your life without him. It always feels like he's meant to be around you like someone out there made him just for you and you were made just for him. In some ways, that's scary and feels like a big responsibility, but in others, it's comforting. It's the reassurance that it's just you and him in the end of it all. You'll get there one day. That's how it's supposed to be.

Jason pulls away, resting his forehead against yours before he starts sliding his cock into your aching pussy. The pit in your stomach grows as you start to see stars. Jason's eyes are shut and he's thinking he's left this whole plane of existence. He sinks into you slow and steady until he bottoms out.

His eyes open, locking on yours. Your fingers are lightly running up his arm and the words of 'i love you' almost spill from his lips like an overflowing cup of water. His nose brushes yours and he almost says it. He doesn't want to scare you away with piling too much on you at once. Last night and the scar tonight, he knows you're worried the Titans.

He'll tell you later.

Instead, Jason settles for something with the same meaning.

Your eyes close and the words of 'i love you' almost escape your lips like an easy breath. You brush your nose with his and you almost say it. Jason has been through a lot. You don't want to add to it, not right now. You don't want to add more pressure if he can't say it back yet. You don't want to scare him off.

You'll tell him later.

Instead, you settle for something with the same meaning.

"You and me." Jason whispers to you as he goes to kiss your cheek.

A tender smile pulls at your lips as your heart stutters in your chest. "You and me."

A smile rips through Jason's lips as his heart feels like it's just burst through his ribcage.

Jason pulls out and pushes back in, just as slow this time before he starts picking up the pace. Your mind starts swimming with his quick movements. His mouth is on yours again and you can barely keep up. Your mind is flooded with how full he's making you as your pussy clenches around him.

You try to form words, anything to tell him to keep going but nothing can form quite right, giving Jason the ego boost he doesn't exactly need. He gets the idea and doesn't lighten up. His hand grips your thigh, tugging your leg up near his hip. With the new angle, he's tapping the patch of nerves inside of you. You gasp against him, your nails digging into his back.

"J-Jay." You nearly whine into his mouth and Jason nearly finishes right there with the first word you're able to get out being his name.

"Hmm?" He hums, trying to hold his composure. "Gotta speak up, babe." Jason teases.

"H-harder." You get out.

Jason grins wickedly against your lips, doing as you asked but only for a few thrusts before he stops entirely. "Like that?"

Your eyes shoot open, pupils blow with desperation and lust. "Please."

You don't have to ask again.

Jason thrusts his hips harder and faster than before. You groan louder below him almost immediately. Your pussy is clenching around him more and more and he can tell you're getting close. He slides a hand between you, rubbing tight circles around your clit. You nearly scream with the new sensation.

You grip his hair and pull his neck closer to you just as Jason gets you to reach your high. You let out a mixed whine and moan of his name before you bite down where his shoulder meets his neck, desperately trying not to scream. Tears prick your eyes as your stomach tightens and your whole body shakes and twitches beneath Jason.

It takes everything in him not to lose himself until you're finally finished, panting below him. His hips stall against you as his head hangs in the cook of your neck, his cock twitching as he shoots his load into the condom.

Jason leans up, chest heaving and he places a kiss to your cheek and then your forehead before he rolls off of you to dispose of the condom in his bathroom.

You sit up, wrapping the blanket around you with your chest still heaving and you give Jason a tender smile as he walks back towards the bed. He grabs his clothes as you watch him and you're getting your first full view of the scar. It doesn't bother you but you understand why it bothers him. Seeing it in full, it's a harsh scar, not something that looks like it'll even fade. You think if it were you, it'd bother you, too.

Jason makes his way back to the bed, plopping back down before he leans against the pillow. His eyes are still lustblown as he gives you a soft and tired smile, and you think his eyes are filled with something you became so accustomed to. Your hand goes to his hair, brushing the white streaks away from his face. Jason’s hand grabs your hand before bringing your palm to his lips and he presses tender kisses over your hand.

“For the record,” You start as Jsaon places your hand back down. “I don’t care what scars you come home with.” You say so easily and your word choice doesn’t go unnoticed by Jason. “I know you do but I don’t…” You pause, chewing the inside of your cheek. “Just as long as you come home.” You nod a few times as your brows pinch together.

Jason sits up, his face coming just a few inches from yours. “I’m sorry I didn’t.” His voice is rough and this is a different apology than the one you got on the roof. The one you got at his safe house. There are no stakes in the apology.

“It’s not your fault.” You place a hand on his cheek and Jason leans into it. "I forgive you anyway, though."

He still wonders how you were ever able to bear it. Despite his general feeling of self-doubt and self-loathing, he knows your feelings have always been very real for him. You didn’t cope, that he knows for certain and he’s not entirely sure if you ever will. It’s something you have to make peace with just as much as he does. And he thinks about how maybe that’s an important part of you both moving forward. You forgive him for some reason but Jason doesn’t think you've accepted it yet. A part of him has, it happened to him and he’s alive. He went through it. One second, your world is moving at a steady pace and the next it’s halted, suddenly stopped with no warning and then it’s thrown in the other direction. It sounds more like whiplash. So, Jason wonders if you’ll ever hit the acceptance stage. He wonders how you were ever able to bear any of it. He knows for certain if it were him, he’d never be able to.

Your eyes are soft and tired and there’s the tiniest, adoring smile on your lips. A look Jason is privileged enough to be the only one to receive. And he thinks about he’d never be able to bear the loss of you. It rips him to shreds. It would take all of the remaining good parts of him and shatter them. He’d never recover if something happened to you. Even if it's beyond his control. It’s terrifying feeling that way about another person.

Jason nods against you before he presses a kiss to the palm of your hand. “Yeah…” He lets out a breath. “Thanks for sticking around.”

“Thanks for letting me.” You smile softly. "You and me?"

Jason offers the same smile back. "You and me." Jason confirms. “You still gonna talk to Leslie?” Jason asks as you pull your hand away.

You nod softly. “Yeah. If she has anything open.”

Jason gives you a soft smile. “Good.” He nods softly. He sits back up all the way, looking to his doorway. “Gonna grab your clothes.” Jason chuckles softly, tossing his shirt over his head before he gets up.

You watch Jason disappear through the doorway and you're quick to grab his pillow, checking to see if he’s replaced the knife with a gun. Your chest warms with the sight of your blue switchblade still locked and lying under his pillow. It’s a relief he hasn’t put the gun back. Your thoughts are jolted as fabric hits your face.

“Hey!” You yell through a laugh, your clothes falling into your lap.

“Fucking nosey ass.” Jason nods his head at you, making his way back to the bed with his hoodie in hand.

“You’re an interesting person to be nosey about.” You shrug as you get the blanket off of your shoulders. You can feel the tiredness weighing on your bones and you know if you don't head home soon, you'll end up staying here. As much as you really want to, you do not want to overstay your welcome. “Well,” You sigh as you tug your shirt over your head. “I should probably head home.” You laugh softly, seeing the orange light of sunrise seeping through Jason’s window.

“Guess so.” Jason nearly pouts at the thought. He never wants you to leave but he doesn't want you to feel obligated to always stay just because you're here late. You'll be back here later anyway. “Still gonna help me today?” Jason’s eyes are hopeful and big.

“Of course.” You laugh softly, feeling the heat rise to your cheeks. “I’ll just sleep for a few hours and how about we like one?” You ask. “We’ll both be out of it if we don’t get some sleep.”

“Yeah, yeah, alright.” Jason says in agreement. “Want an escort home?” He asks but you can tell by the way he raises of his brows and the way he's already moving to get up, it's not really an offer. He's going to do it anyway.

“Thank you.” You stand up, putting the rest of your clothes on. "Just get some sleep when you get back, okay?"

Jason nods with a grin. "Of course. Gotta be well-rested hanging out with you."

"I can not help you." You quip as you grab your bag.

"Sorry." Jason lets out a chuckle.

"Let's just go." Your eyes widen at him to tease him before Jason gestures towards the door for you to lead the way.

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@makaelaseresin // @lenidaslenchen // @mayfieldss // @ghostkingblake // @im-done-with-this-im-out //

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[feyd-meowtha]

@middlingmay's Fic Rec Questions

I saw this list and thought it would be fun to give it a go!!

1) Fic that's made you laugh the most

He May Be The Reason by @c-goldthorn. It's a Clegan Notting Hill au and it makes me squeal with delight. So cute that I got distracted while reading it and missed my stop on the train.

2) A fic that made you cry

my kingdom for a kiss upon your shoulder by pillar of our community @swifty-fox. I'm sure most ppl have probably read this one but it's such an amazing post-show continuation that really doesn't pull it's punches when it comes to both PTSD and the realities of being gay in the 40s

3) Fave comfort, silly fic

It's a little rogue but I'm gonna say Awake, Alive by the wonderful @whirlpool-blogs. It's a pet sematary au so not exactly what you would call traditionally comforting but the ending makes me so happy and the whole thing is just a joy. The fact that this came to mind when I thought 'comfort fic' is probably pretty telling about me as a person....

4) The fic that made you try a genre or trope that you don't usually read

This is also a bit rogue but it was tricky since I'll read anything, so I'll go with Strings of the Strings of Life by the lovely @weimarweekly, not because of any of the content but because I don't, as a general rule, read Dune fic that was written after Dune 2 released. I've bored everyone to tears with my complaints about that version of Feyd but it is what it is so I tend not to like any fics written about that version of the character BUT the prospect of a feydpaul Berlin techno au was too delicious to resist and the whole fic is so fun. It makes me miss Germany sooo bad.

5) An author who has inspired your own fic writing

This one has got to go to the anonymous author of both Close And Yet Closer and The Replacement. Both of these fics are god tier and their character psychology and willingness to allow their versions of the characters and relationships to be ugly and messy are so inspiring to me. They were also the first person in the John/Hausman tag on ao3 which is currently just me and them. I think about the replacement all the time and it was a HUGE influence on 3am Eternal. If I can ever write half as well as them I will die happy.

6) What are your fave underdog authors? Those that you feel are underappreciated and deserve a bit more love

Hmmm, this is kinda hard cus the MOTA fandom is pretty small so I feel like a lot of stuff gets decent buzz. Imma shout out @whirlpool-blogs again and especially their fucked up clegans fics, I have read and reread all of their works and they're always so so good. I will also add @steeseman for Up In Our Bedroom. It's another great post-canon fic and while it has a lot of hits, I don't think I've seen anyone talking about it on here.

7) What's one thing you wish writers/readers did more of when it comes to fanfiction.

The obvious one is comment, it really does make my day when I get a nice comment, even just a couple words or an emoji mean a lot. The other thing I would say is writing curt/Kenny fic, there's not much out there and I want more please. Also more fics where characters relationships are like genuinely kind of fucked up and toxic. I love that shit.

8) What's one thing you wish writers/readers did less of when it comes to fanfiction.

Oh man, I really do not know. The only thing I can think of is that I hate the word 'yap' or 'yapping' so if I see it in a fic I shudder. Hmmmm, I guess I also wish that there was a little more consideration when writing Gale's dad as an alcoholic because it's often treated as the basis for him being a shitty person. Addicts aren't automatically bad people and I sometimes feel like it's portrayed that way. @blixabargelds wrote an excellent post on this

9) I'm adding an extra one and that is current WIPs I am reading

Sympathy For The Devil by @blixabargelds, it's a modern ghost hunting AU and the set up is AMAZING. I will also throw Superstar in here even though it's not releasing main story chapters yet, everything Frankie writes is so tailored to my personal tastes it's crazy and I am so excited to read @mildharm's John POV chapters too. Literally foaming at the mouth thinking about it rn. When it starts being released fully, I fear it may kill me.

Love Song From A Dog and The Heart Is A Muscle by @swifty-fox. I've only just started THIAM but I'm so hyped for their take on the tattoo shop/flower shop au.

Hit Me Where The Heart Is by @london-cowboy makes me legitimately insane. I jump for joy whenever there is a new update, these versions of the characters and their stories are, as Paris Hilton would say, beyond. I do not have the words to say how much I am loving this fic. The characters and setting feel so real and it's just so creative. AMAZING.

I need to get around to starting let us not desert one another; we are an injured body and also the time skip fic whose name escapes me by @irregularcollapse and also catching up with @weimarweekly's rodeo fic, Looking For Eight

Writing this was very fun and I encourage anyone reading to give it a go if they fancy it!!

[cerealmonster15]

The Perfect Birthday Treat [Jamil/Azul]

Summary: Azul's birthday is coming up, and Jamil enlists Riddle and Ruggie to help him find a suitable gift. It has to be good enough to repay Azul for the spices he bought for Jamil's last birthday, after all. That, and perhaps another, not-so-secret reason…

Word count: 3361

[Ao3 Link] [See Ao3 for more tags and notes]

Jamil stood in front of the shelf, arms crossed, scowl cemented onto his face. His eyes scanned the array of trinkets before him, but no matter how long he glared at the items, his look of displeasure did not soften. 

“You look like you’re trying to vaporize that plush octopus,” Ruggie said, coming up from behind to stand next to Jamil. “Is that what you’re gonna get him?”

Jamil shook his head. “There’s no way Azul would accept that as an equal exchange for what he gave me last year.”

“Yeah, but it’s not like you asked him for those.” Ruggie shrugged, folding his hands behind his head as he spoke. “That’s kinda on Azul if he went to all the trouble to find fancy spices himself."

“You know how Azul is, Ruggie,” Riddle said as he approached from Jamil’s other side. “It doesn’t matter if Jamil asked for it; the fact of  the matter is that he’s already given Jamil the nice gift, and he will be incredibly insufferable about it if Jamil’s next gift to him isn’t up to his standards.”

As Riddle spoke, a scowl akin to the one Jamil wore on his face formed on Riddle’s, as well. Such was the effect that thoughts of Azul Ashengrotto tended to have on people around him. 

Ruggie, however, only smirked. “Yeah, well, I bet Jamil wouldn’t be giving half as much thought to this if he didn’t have a big old CRUSH on the guy, shishisi…”

Jamil directed his scowl at the snickering Ruggie, his cheeks growing warm. “Shut the hell up. You agreed to come help me, so help me.”

“I really don’t understand your taste, Jamil…” Riddle shook his head. “But, Azul’s ulterior motives and your own feelings aside, a gift must be repaid nonetheless. Have you considered buying him something practical? Such as a new tie pin, or a desk organizer?”

Ruggie scrunched his nose at Riddle’s suggestions. “Yeah, because we really want Azul thinking about office supplies when he looks at Jamil.”

“Wh- Practical gifts are perfectly suitable to give to your peers!” Riddle sputtered. “What better way to show that you care for someone than to get them something that they can and will use on a day to day basis, and has meaningful functionality, so that you know it won’t burden them by just taking up space and collecting dust?!”

Ruggie shrugged. “I dunno, something fun? Or something expensive. Jamil, what’s your budget for winning over Azul’s affections?”

Jamil shut his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m leaving you at school next time.”

“It’s a valid question!” Ruggie protested, trailing after Jamil and Riddle as they moved further down the shopping stalls. “I bet if you handed him a fancy schmancy ring, his heart would stop.”

“Octopus have three hearts,” Riddle corrected. 

“Who’s to say he still has three when he’s on land? If those tentacles of his disappear, maybe he’s down two hearts.” Ruggie scratched the back of his head, looking to seriously consider this train of thought. “You think he’s still got blue blood when he’s on land?”

“None of that matters right now, and I’m not buying Azul a ring,” Jamil snapped. “We need to focus. Practical suggestions only.”

“I gave you two practical suggestions already,” Riddle huffed, “but, fine. Why not follow Azul’s own example and purchase him something consumable? There is a tea shop nearby that I visited with Trey and Cater recently. You can purchase from their selection of tea to take home, and I would say it is rather excellent quality. 

Jamil paused to consider this option.

As did Ruggie, who turned to Riddle with a grin. “Tea shops usually have good desserts, right?”

Riddle turned away, his cheeks dusting a light read. “...Y-yes, this one is no exception… But Azul holds a strict diet with himself, from what I recall, so I’m not sure how relevant those options would be.”

“Oh, c’mon,” Ruggie put a hand on both his companions’ shoulders. “Everyone likes a sweet treat, deep down. Let’s go check it out!”

“Th-that’s hardly the case with everyone, Ruggie!” Riddle protested, thoughts of Cater flashing in his mind. He turned to Jamil with a questioning look. “However, I do think it would be worth visiting, at the very least to check out the tea they have to offer. Are you interested, Jamil?”

For someone who outwardly and openly claimed to follow a perfectly curated meal plan, Azul’s lingering glances on the dessert displays in the cafeteria did not go unnoticed by Jamil. Really, that was something he felt that Azul and Riddle had in common. If the flustered look on Riddle’s face at the mere mention of this tea shop’s forbidden delicacies was any indication of the quality of said desserts, then perhaps even Azul wouldn’t be able to feign indifference when presented with a hand-selected snack. At the very least, he could pick out a few tea bags to go with it, so if Azul really insisted on denying his sweet tooth, he wouldn’t end up empty handed.

“Alright,” Jamil decided, “lead the way, Riddle.”

-

“So, we definitely have to sample everything before we can make the perfect decision on what to pick out for Azul, right?” Ruggie said, his eyes growing wide at the vast array of desserts and teas on display for purchase. “I mean, it would just be irresponsible if we didn’t take our time to really make sure we’re finding the absolute best possible choice, right?”

“Ruggie,” Riddle chided, “while there are no rules posted about a limit on how many samples you can try, there is still an unspoken expectation of etiquette to not overindulge yourself or waste the store’s supply!”

“Aw, c’mon,” Ruggie nudged Jamil beside him with his elbow, “how else is Jamil supposed to show Azul how dedicated he really is, huh? We’re talking about the fate of our friend’s love life, here!”

Jamil pointedly turned away from Ruggie and faced Riddle instead. “You’ve been here before, and your dorm serves a lot of tea and desserts for parties, right? Can I count on you for some recommendations?”

Riddle smiled. “Yes, absolutely. Come with me,” he said, leading Jamil over to the side of the shop where various tea bags and jars of loose leaf tea were displayed. “Perhaps we should start with selecting a tea first, and then I can help you pick out a dessert that pairs well with it. You drink quite a bit of tea as well, don’t you?”

“Yes,” Jamil nodded, “that part won’t be too difficult, but I’ll just have to decide on a flavor profile, and if I want to give him something more herbal and relaxing, or a more energizing, caffeinated tea…”

“I suppose I can see the benefits of either in terms of Azul. A black or green tea may be more suited for his busy days, but then an herbal blend would be a nice respite when winding down after a long week…”

The two pondered silently over the selection before them, carefully picking up each choice to examine the ingredients, description, and packaging. One could never be too careful, especially when dealing with as fickle a recipient as Azul Ashengrotto.

“Some cake oughta help you think clearer, shishishi…”

Jamil and Riddle turned around, and Ruggie handed them each a toothpick with a cube of glazed lemon cake samples stuck on the tips. 

Riddle narrowed his eyes, but he and Jamil accepted the treats regardless. “Ruggie… You had better be pacing yourself.”

“Hey, don’t worry about it!” Ruggie grinned. “I told the nice granny at the counter the total truth, and she said she’d be happy to help us out with as many samples as we wanted!”

Jamil, chewing on the lemon cake cube he was offered, narrowed his eyes at Ruggie. “...What exactly did you-?”

“Oh, so these are your little friends!”

The little old lady that Ruggie mentioned walked up beside the group, holding out a platter of miniature samples of various desserts that were on display at the counter, alongside small sample-sized cups of teas they had in stock, as well. “You all can call me Granny Marigold. Your friend here told me all about your situation, so please don’t hesitate to try anything here that you’d like.”

“Thank you, Granny Marigold,” Riddle said, eyeing the plate with a barely concealed look of intense desire. “I hope Ruggie didn’t pester you too much for free samples.”

Granny only laughed. “No, not at all! …Oh, I recognize your face, sweetheart,” she said, smiling down at Riddle. “You were here just last week with a few other friends, weren’t you? Riddle, was it?”

Riddle blinked up at her in surprise, eyes wide. “Yes, I-I was… I thought the service and quality was excellent, and recommended we try looking here for the gift. I, er, did not expect to be recognized from my last visit.”

“I always remember my customers,” Granny smiled, then turned to Jamil. “Your friend Ruggie here says you’re looking for a gift for a special someone, hm?”

Jamil averted his gaze away from the knowing look that both Granny and Ruggie were giving him,and instead focused on the plate of samples in front of him. “...Yes,” he mumbled. “A classmate. His birthday’s soon, and he got me a really nice gift for mine a few months ago.”

“Oh, well, isn’t that sweet,” Granny cooed, much to the embarrassment of Jamil and the delight of Ruggie. “Well, you’ve come to the right place. They say the way to a man’s heart - or anyone’s, for that matter- is through the stomach. Do take your time with choosing, and let me know if you need any help. But, if you want my advice,” she said, leaning over with a whisper. “You can’t go wrong with a slice of dark chocolate cake.”

Jamil, picking up a sample cup with a piece of strawberry shortcake and handing it to Riddle, nodded. “Thank you, I’ll try that out.”

Riddle, flustered yet again that his silent desires had been so easily clocked, quietly accepted the snack. He offered Jamil a trade, selecting one of the sample cups of tea and handing it over. “...The black tea selections often go well with dark chocolate. ”

And he was right, Jamil thought. The tea’s strong flavor complimented the strong, bittersweet taste of the dark chocolate alongside it, and made for a flavorful combination. Still, the cake itself tasted rather rich. Perhaps Azul would be more willing to accept the cake if he got some fresh fruit to go with it…

“Mmm, hey, Riddle, what’s this one?” Ruggie asked, shoving his sample cup into Riddle’s hand next.

Riddle frowned at how nonchalant Ruggie was being, and chose to give it a sniff instead of tasting from someone else’s cup. “...It’s hibiscus,” he said, handing it back to Ruggie and turning to Jamil. “If you wanted something more herbal to go with the cake, that would be a good choice, as well.”

“Hey, why not get him a mix?” Ruggie suggested. “No rules say you can only get one option. Get him one of those tester boxes of tea and call it a day!”

“That’s not as thoughtful as something hand picked,” Jamil mumbled. 

“Aw, right, I keep forgetting you’re doing this for LOVE.”

“If we weren’t in the middle of a tea shop, I’d kick you.”

Ruggie only snickered again.

“...Ruggie may have a point,” Riddle said. “Perhaps you could pick out a small handful of choices? That was you would have the benefit of a selection with thought put behind in terms of flavor combination and recipient preferences, but also a bit of variety, so that Azul cannot complain that you got him something unsuitable.” 

Jamil couldn’t help but smile at that comment. Azul was fussy, but the three of them had dealt with him long enough that his mannerisms were becoming all too predictable. “Yeah, that sounds like a good plan.”

-

Azul snapped out of his dozing state when he heard a knock at the door to his office. He rubbed his eyes and glanced at his watch, wondering who on earth would be coming to see him at nearly 10pm on a school night. He thought for a moment about sending whoever it was away, but if they were coming here at such a time, then they surely must be desperate for his assistance…

“Come in,” he said after debating for a few more seconds in his head. He was surprised, however, when he looked up and found not a generic and desperate looking student entering the room, but instead, Jamil Viper. 

“Oh, good, so you haven’t already gone to sleep.” Jamil said, walking over to Azul’s desk and placing a nicely wrapped box in front of him.

“Well, well, what a surprise…” Azul eyed the box, and then glanced back up at Jamil. “And here I thought you’d forgotten to get me anything for my birthday, what with how many times we’d seen each other today.”

Jamil rolled his eyes and sighed. “Yeah, well, I had to keep most of it in the refrigerator. It would’ve been no good to give it to you at the start of classes, and then I had basketball right after. I wasn’t about to let you chide me for being a day late, so I made sure I got over here once Vargas let us go.”

He chose to glance around Azul’s office, focusing on looking at anything that WASN’T AZUL as Azul began unpeeling the wrapping paper,

“Oh, in the refrigerator? Something homemade, I presume?” Azul mused, sliding his nail carefully under the tape.

“Not this time,” Jamil responded, and then immediately, mentally kicked himself for such word choice as he noticed Azul glance back up at him out of the corner of his eye. “...I was out shopping with Riddle and Ruggie yesterday, that’s all.”

“I see…” Azul finished removing the wrapping paper - An agonizingly slow process, in Jamil’s opinion - And his eyebrows rose with recognition at the tea shop’s logo on the box. “Oh, I’ve heard of this shop. It just opened recently, no? Some of my staff mentioned it the other day, and I had been meaning to go see it for myself - For market research, of course. It’s always good to stay up to date on what the competition is offering, you know.”

Jamil was on one hand, relieved to hear that he seemed to be on the right track with his gift, but on the other hand, really wished that Azul would shut the hell up and just open the damn box. Perhaps he should’ve made a run for it after handing over the box, but it was too late for that now.

Finally, Azul did in fact open the box, and his eyes widened with surprise when he saw what was inside.

“Is this…  A slice of chocolate cake?”

“And some tea,” Jamil said, pointing to the tin containers in the box alongside it. “We picked a few kinds. Black tea, green tea, and an herbal blend… Riddle said the place is really good, and we sampled all of these before picking them.”

A wry smile spread across Azul’s face. “Oh? You went to all that trouble, just for me? Why, I’m honored, truly.”

Jamil only grit his teeth and crossed his arms in response.

“Well,” Azul continued, glancing down at the cake. “I suppose it would be a waste not to try something you spent so much time picking out for me, and I did say I wanted to do a  little market research…”

“Can you not talk about this like I just handed you some sort of inconvenience?” Jamil huffed, turning to leave. “Eat it, or don’t. It’s not my problem anymore.”

“Now, hold on, a moment!” Azul called out, stopping Jamil in his tracks. “I haven’t even tried it yet. We have to see if it’s really as good as you and Riddle claim, yes?”

Jamil slowly turned back around. “...Hurry up, then. I should be getting back to my dorm.”

“Mmhm, always in such a rush, aren’t you?” Azul said, his smile unfaltering. He picked up the fork that conveniently lay in the box beside the cake, and gave it a few pokes. “The raspberries are a nice touch.”

“Do you always talk so much before you eat?”

Azul only laughed, and then FINALLY took a bite of the cake… And then immediately covered his mouth and turned his face away from Jamil, going quiet.

Jamil felt his body tense. Was it that bad? Did Azul secretly hate chocolate, or something? Maybe Granny Marigold had accidentally given him a slice of an old, stale cake that she’d meant to throw in the trash? Or maybe-

“It’s delicious…” Azul mumbled. “I, ahem, imagine it would taste even better alongside the tea you selected to go with it.”

Jamil exhaled a sigh of relief. Really, why did Azul have to make everything so complicated?

“...Yeah,” he answered, “that’s the idea. I guess you could save the rest for tomorrow, or whatever. Uh…” Jamil tugged at the hood of his sweatshirt, resisting the urge to tug it completely over his face. “...Glad you like it. See ya.”

“Ah, yes... Well, thank you,” Azul said, reaching for the top of the box to close it up. “Good night, then-”

“Actually,” Jamil suddenly stepped forward, putting a hand on top of Azul’s before he could fully close the box. “...Are you busy right now?”

Azul looked startled at the sudden contact, glancing at where Jamil’s hand clutched his. “I… Um…” His gaze shifted to the papers he was looking over before Jamil arrived - and before he started nodding off - and then back up at Jamil. “…Well, I was just going to finish looking over today’s sales, so I planned to be awake for a bit longer…”

Jamil removed his hand from Azul’s, and instead reached into the box to pick up the tin of herbal tea. “Would you… Like some company? This one is good for helping you relax and wind down for the day. I, uh, can go boil some water for you.”

Azul’s look of bewilderment slowly melted into a warm smile. “And it looks like there are enough leaves for at least two cups worth, no?”

He stood, reaching for the tin. “You’re my guest. Allow me-“

“It’s your birthday,” Jamil took a step back, holding the tin to his chest. “Sit down and just tell me where to go. I’ll do it.”

“Must you be so stubborn?” Azul sighed, but neither of them could hide the smiles on their faces. 

“Well, if you’re going to insist on it,” Azul continued, “then at least allow me to show you the way. Perhaps if you start getting used to Octavinelle’s layout, you might reconsider that dorm transfer offer?”

Jamil sighed, about to throw another eye- roll Azul’s way, but couldn’t quite muster it when he instead felt the sensation of a gloved hand reaching for his, their fingers slowly, gently intertwining. He glanced down, making sure he wasn’t imagining such a  feeling. When he glanced back up, Azul was smiling back at him with what might have been the softest, warmest expression anyone had ever looked at him with before.

“...Yeah,” Jamil found himself saying, voice barely a whisper, caught in the moment, “maybe I would.”

Maybe it was a joke, or maybe there was some truthful longing to the statement. Either way, they both knew the unlikelihood of such a drastic change happening… But, sometimes, it was nice to pretend, if only for a moment.

Jamil tucked the tin into his hoodie pocket and then reached over to Azul,  plucking the hat from atop his head and placing it upon his own. 

“Well?” He asked, grinning at Azul’s once again startled expression. “How do I look? Does it suit me?”

“...Yes,” Azul breathed out. “You look right at home.”

“Come on, then,” Jamil gently tugged on Azul’s hand, leading them out of the room. “Let’s go make that tea.”